Waiting in an airport takes time and the flight is 3 hours. I know an accident will happen but have no idea how we could clean up on an airplane? Obviously she wears depends but those don't work very well with bowel incontinence. They leak. Plus there is the factor of her fellow passengers. Anyway to make this work? Are there any medications that would help?
Someone also mentioned hear how tight things are getting on commercial airlines. Putting people through the misery described in that post is something you can take to the people who are over the airlines since they don't have taller people in mind. What they need to do instead of cramming in more seats and cramming people into them like sardines is maybe put in a second level like a two floor plane. Restore the space and let customers have their leg room back. Not everyone can sit crammed in, some of them may have knee arthritis and not be able to endure even a very short flight let alone three hours. It seems like they don't have certain types of people with physical limits in mind, some of them need leg space and others need to recline a bit due to hip, lumbar arthritis or some other condition that leaves them miserable from sitting too long. They need to install a disability section or best yet make the whole plane disability friendly. Perhaps they should make the whole plane first class for the people with disabilities and maybe this might actually be something you can talk to your state civil rights commission about or maybe even access advocates since different people have different levels of disability in the actual plane seats are not disability friendly and less you get first class. They should actually prioritize people with disabilities and bump them up to first class and turning that section into a disability section should be seriously considered an option that specially since disability access is law everywhere. If someone needs one of those seats are due to a disability then by law the airline must accommodate for the disability as long as it fits into the actual need related to that disability.
Look at another scenario:
Not only are there permanent disabilities but there are also temporary ones. Let's say you just had knee surgery or broke your leg and your placed into a non-bending cast or knee stabilizer. You're not going to put someone in third class with the legroom if they can't bend their knee, especially if they need to keep that leg elevated. These kinds of things is another example of what those first class seats should be for, people who really need them.
Another perfect example is if someone experiences foot and leg swelling and needs to elevate, another group of people that should go into first class where the reclining seats are. Putting people into classes is highly unfair anyway and it looks like they definitely don't have people with disabilities in mind if at all. I've watched YouTube videos about how high of standards are expected of stewardesses so why do you think they're going to provide for your needs unless someone in authority makes it happen? All they care about is money, not the customer and you'd be best off to just take the train and rent an actual sleeping cabin
The other factor you might not have considered are the charming people who check you through security at the airport. The last thing you need is to have them demand to search her or have her dementia trigger an angry rant (if that's an issue). I'm not going to lecture you about going the way some of the 'holier-than-thou' types here have, but you really need to consider all the factors.
Best wishes for your trip.
What I will add is our experience with taking father in law on a two hour flight so we could attend a family reunion. We were full of good intentions but so uneducated about the ways Dad’s brain perceived things. The entire experience troubled him - everything from the announcements over the PA system to the frenetic movement of people moving about the airport. There is SO MUCH added stimulation his brain had to try and process that by the time we got on the plane, he was a nervous wreck and he was on prescribed meds for anxiety too!
We made it to our destination but arrived exhausted with trying to keep Dad occupied and comforted. The flight crew was amazing so we got lucky there...we rented a car for the return trip home. It took us much longer but it was absolutely the right option for him as he was more serene.
Good luck to you!
1) Watch her diet the week prior to make sure she doesn't have a large blowout. Lots of liquids early in the week to avoid constipation which may release mid-air (as cabin pressure increases...). Then taper the liquids 24 hrs prior or whatever is best for her toileting.
2) Double layer Depends. If they aren't holding her waste, try a smaller size in the inside and a bigger size over that.
3) Diaposable waterproof pads for her seat(s) are a must to avoid the worst-case scenario for everyone. Both under her and on the back of her seat. I recommend interweave across, down the back, then another across the seat and another down (pull off the top layer then still have a second just in case). The pads roll up and dispose of easily. I also used them with my toddlers. Available at Walgreens/drug stores or online. Go for xtra large if you can.
4) Plastic bags double upped with rubber bands to seal and gallon ziplocs do you can clean up right away.
5) A few changes of clothes including easy on/off shoes. Ideally things that you're already thinking of tossing, so you can seal it properly then toss it.
6) Wet wipes and gloves if you use them to assist her toileting
7) Arrange for wheelchairs on departure and arrival. Even if she's mobile, you'll get from A to B much quicker and with less disorientation.
8) As for meds such as anti-diareahal the night prior, talk with her doctor. It should be do-able, and if she has ongoing diarrhea from meds or otherwise, the doctor should address that anyways.
Unfortunately, it's hard for folks to imagine and other options seem better unless they've been there and actually looked into it. After my mom died unexpectedly, my Dad needed to move in with us immediately. As a pregnant lady with an under-one-year-old and a job I desperately needed, Amtrak wasn't gonna work (and it would have been WAY worse for him to be totally disoriented for days for all functions of sleeping, toileting, and eating vs just a few hours, aside from being crazy expensive). Flying with total incontinence was manageable and uneventful (thanks to family restrooms and a well-planned carry on) compared to many tasks of caregiving. Take care. Be strong. I hope this helps.
People do it all the time with children and ill patients, why not the elderly?
If it were me, I would start with contacting the airline first.
Could everyone with dementia do this? My gosh, no! But several members of my caregiver support group traveled to Europe with their demented loved one (with more than one capable adult helping.)
As far as the dementia goes, each caregiver knows her loved one best and needs to make her own judgment.
But the incontinence is what makes this sound so very challenging. Others have given some good advice about how to handle this if the trip must be made by air.
Your mother"s bowel incontinence is due to extreme B-vitamin deficiency. Go to a health food store and buy the B-total sublingual and give it to her daily.
The people were very kind. During the long flight - mom did have a few bad spells of agitation where she was rocking and crying but the daughter was able to soothe her and manage the medication. People around were very considerate.
Perhaps this is a one in a thousand situation. But anyway - good luck.
Along with the possibility of an accidental bowel or bladder, the entire ordeal will be super stressful for her....all the hustle & bustle of an airport, going through security ( I am sure you have heard of episodes where TSA May pull her for an additional security check), boarding, change in altitude (can present fearful symptoms for her that she doesn’t understand), etc
I hope you can reconsider but if she must go, there were excellent suggestions offered in this thread.
Good luck!
I do not know exactly how much of an inconvenience this ended up being to the hotel but I would imagine that losing an entire shuttle inconvenienced dozens if not hundreds of travelers who had to find alternative transportation to the hotel because the wait time doubled. Now imagine the shuttle is an airplane! Anyone who has flown recently understands that airlines don't have extra planes just sitting around!!!
I only traveled one more time after that with MIL - at her insistence - and when she had a medical emergency on that last trip, my husband and I told her we would not travel with her anymore and she just had to accept that. I do like the gift bags story but I cannot agree that a gift bag is sufficient to knowingly risk inconveniencing people.
In case you are thinking still of this trip with your mom--let me share a little something with you. I flew from Atlanta to SLC yesterday. 4 hours+....and elderly man was sick in the mid-cabin bathroom. I was sitting about 15 rows back, but I may as well have been in there with him. I cannot describe the smell---people were vomiting, walking to back of the plane and refusing to return to their seats near that bathroom. It was over an hour before the smell dissipated enough to not make breathing a constant misery. People were not impolite, but it made a rough trip nearly unbearable. My DH was sitting close to the bathroom, but he has basically no sense of smell and even he said it was pretty bad.
I saw the man being removed from the plane by his younger companion and placed in a wheelchair. He was wrapped in blankets. He was also clearly mortified.
Having been up close and personal to an accident of this kind--please consider the fellow passengers.