There's too many episodes to go in to detail; but three years of repeated questions, accusations, can't remember things. Then she vandalized my husband's property, cancels all her doctor's appointments, takes license plates off her car and throws away registration papers, yet still drives and asks my husband and me to find all those things. Then they suddenly appear 2-3 weeks later...... and so on and so on!! Now she's lying to the sheriff and ems people after calling 911, about me! I got the FOIA records of her reports, she says I have abused her, and I wasn't even near her. Nor did I even speak to her on the phone. I own her home because she had financial problems 15 years ago. And to save her, my husband and I purchased her home so she wouldn't be " homeless " and she's lived rent free for all that time. Now she has dementia, as far as I can tell, but refused to cooperate with the specialist for a diagnosis, so we don't know what her real problem is. All I know, is I'm done being shi# on by her, and did I add she vandalized not only my husband's truck but also the shed he built on our property? And many text messages threatening to bang holes in the house walls, put sand in my husband's gas tank of his truck, put all the cat and dog shi# in his new shed, etc...so what do I do. I'm ready to say, Get the heck out of the house I own, and never speak to me again! Ugh. I could say so many worse words!!
I think APS may be a good thing here. If its found she can't live alone, let the State take over her care. Things will get done faster.
(Assuming you're not her PoA...)
#1: if she threatens you physically call 911 immediately (and video her threats if at all possible). Do it regardless of whether you think she will carry it out (or is even capable of carrying it out). Let the responders know her history of mental illness and possible dementia. When she's at the hospital try to get the hospital to perform a cognitive exam and check for a UTI if at all possible. Contact the discharge staff and social worker to let them know she is an unsafe discharge and due to her threats you'll be filing a police report and she can't return to your home. Make sure they understand that you're not responsible for her or her care -- the hospital will go into overdrive trying to get you to accept her back, even promising to provide some of the care).
#2: seek a restraining order
#3: start eviction process (she can then be escorted out by the police if she refuses to leave at the end of the 30 days). Make sure there's someplace for her to go (like Section 8 housing or a shelter) or it will boomerang back to you. A restraining order will enable you to call police and have her escorted away if she wanders back.
#4: report her to APS as a vulnerable adult. Eventually they may be able to acquire guardianship of her and will take it from there.
It's brutal to have to go through this with a family member. Maybe other forum participants will have alternate suggestions. I wish you all the best and peace in your heart no matter what transpires.
Once she's out, she's out. Fifteen years ago is not charity anymore, nor is it her house anymore--just like all the houses you have ever sold. You just tell these social workers "unsafe discharge."