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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Sometimes it takes a crises of some sort or another to change the situation.
My sister had & still has reduced hygiene habbits. Not sure of the exact culprit: remembering, motivation to start, concentration to complete - maybe a mixture. It took a hospital admission to get a medical dx, then acceptance, before help was accepted. She was not independent for this from way back. It progressed from needed prompting, then light assistance, now a lot of physical assistance. But now happily accepts help.
If dementia is present, people start to need assistance - not just to wash but in so many areas of daily living also.
It's a very hard situation.
Others can see help is needed. But often a person with dementia/stroke/brain injury/mental illness cannot.
Nobday wants their rights taken away. Nobody wants to be forced to have their cognition tested, to be forced to move. Yet if the person is a danger to others, a danger to themselves - for safery, limits to their freedom & restrictions have to be made.
Unless your sister can be coaxed into accepting help, you probably have to wait.
I am very sorry you are going through this.
Has the relative she lives with reached out for help?
You can report the situation to Adult Protective Services in her area and relate your concerns. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and hoping the relative there isn’t part of the issue
Does the relative who is also living there with her someone who may also have dementia? Or be impaired in some way? If so, report both of them to social service for the county in which they reside.
As Alva outlined, APS will eventually intervene when things get "bad eough". If your sister has not assigned PoA then the county will acquire guardianship of her at some point and move her to a facility where she will be cared for. They will take over managing all her medical and financial affairs.
If you believe your sister is a danger to others or herself on the road, you can report her at the WI DMV website. They will mail her a letter telling her to come in for a test (maybe eye, maybe behind-the-wheel, it differs by state). Then if no one takes her to this test her license will expire and she legally won't be able to drive. But that doesn't stop her from getting into the car and driving. So, maybe someone needs to go and disable her car, or do one of the many other tactics that have been discussed on this forum (look under Care Topics for this).
Can you please give more info about who the other person is that is living with her? Why isn't this person doing anything about the situation? Are they worried about losing their place to live? Are they paying her rent? Is she living in their residence?
Recommending a book. Memoir is by Liz Scheier and isnamed Never Simple. Ms Scheier's Mom was personality disordered. This all took place in NYS, and no, nothing could be done. After many many many years, unimaginable turmoil, loss of everything, and intervention of all state and city authorities and Social Workers her Mom died in shelter in old age. In short. Not everything can be fixed. Read the book. I think you might see yourself. If you have notified APS of adult at risk it is basically all you can do, and I am dreadfully sorry for what you are going through. The state often will not take guardianship forcibly if an adult is in ANY way competent. I wish you every luck and my heart goes out to you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My sister had & still has reduced hygiene habbits. Not sure of the exact culprit: remembering, motivation to start, concentration to complete - maybe a mixture. It took a hospital admission to get a medical dx, then acceptance, before help was accepted. She was not independent for this from way back. It progressed from needed prompting, then light assistance, now a lot of physical assistance. But now happily accepts help.
If dementia is present, people start to need assistance - not just to wash but in so many areas of daily living also.
It's a very hard situation.
Others can see help is needed. But often a person with dementia/stroke/brain injury/mental illness cannot.
Nobday wants their rights taken away. Nobody wants to be forced to have their cognition tested, to be forced to move. Yet if the person is a danger to others, a danger to themselves - for safery, limits to their freedom & restrictions have to be made.
Unless your sister can be coaxed into accepting help, you probably have to wait.
I am very sorry you are going through this.
Has the relative she lives with reached out for help?
As Alva outlined, APS will eventually intervene when things get "bad eough". If your sister has not assigned PoA then the county will acquire guardianship of her at some point and move her to a facility where she will be cared for. They will take over managing all her medical and financial affairs.
If you believe your sister is a danger to others or herself on the road, you can report her at the WI DMV website. They will mail her a letter telling her to come in for a test (maybe eye, maybe behind-the-wheel, it differs by state). Then if no one takes her to this test her license will expire and she legally won't be able to drive. But that doesn't stop her from getting into the car and driving. So, maybe someone needs to go and disable her car, or do one of the many other tactics that have been discussed on this forum (look under Care Topics for this).
Can you please give more info about who the other person is that is living with her? Why isn't this person doing anything about the situation? Are they worried about losing their place to live? Are they paying her rent? Is she living in their residence?
Ms Scheier's Mom was personality disordered. This all took place in NYS, and no, nothing could be done. After many many many years, unimaginable turmoil, loss of everything, and intervention of all state and city authorities and Social Workers her Mom died in shelter in old age.
In short. Not everything can be fixed.
Read the book. I think you might see yourself.
If you have notified APS of adult at risk it is basically all you can do, and I am dreadfully sorry for what you are going through. The state often will not take guardianship forcibly if an adult is in ANY way competent. I wish you every luck and my heart goes out to you.