Hi, Gina here. My mom has been a narcissist all of my life and after reading books and watching videos I have learned how to stop reacting to all the insults and rude comments, but now I have dementia added in and I’m having to learn all over again just to keep her safe. She only has me because no one can deal with her nasty and rude mouth. I’m 67 and keep telling myself it will be over one day then I can be at peace. Will I? She is so hard headed and I keep telling myself to look at her as if she was intoxicated because we all know you can’t take anything they say to heart because they are don’t mean it! Or does she? She sleeps about 75% of the day and I tell myself it will be ok, but then she starts in now making stuff up that I did to hurt her. I’m at a loss. Do I just ignore the comments like before? Anyone have any thoughts on what or how I should deal with my mom?
She is no longer “hard headed”- she is broken brained, and will progressively continue to be broken brained until she dies.
You don’t “ignore” dementia. You embrace the source of the verbalizations.
This may be a very good time to start exploring residential care sites.
She doesn’t have to “have” you, and she doesn’t DESERVE you. Use her money to pay others to care for her, and start preparing NOW for a safe clean place SHE can afford.
You will start to feel better just by having a sense of where you can place her, whether now or in the future.
Blessings.