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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Only my SIL has anything to do with my MIL. MIL has pushed EVERYBODY else out of the picture. I have not seen nor spoken to her for over a year.
You can't force a relationship. My DH was kicked to the curb a few months ago and it really devastated him. Not that he misses his mom, he doesn't, he just feels awful about the things she said to him. I don't care how old you are, or how angry you are at someone, there are some things that simply do NOT need to be said.
One of those is "I wish I'd had an abortion, rather than have you." "You completed ruined my life. I've never had a happy day in my life".
She's 90--and not demented enough to make that an excuse. She's just mean as a snake and doesn't care about anyone but herself. So there she sits, all alone in her house, creeping around hanging on chairs and the wall as she navigates her way around. (Won't use a walker, those are for OLD PEOPLE)..so we sit and wait for the next fall.
She does not have friends, hates all her neighbors and expects SIL to be there daily to take care of her. SIL obliges.
You're probably finding that mom doesn't want to have anyone in her life. You can't solve this problem, don't even try.
Dealing with narcissistic elderly parents is a huge topic on this site.
Your descriptions are so horribly vivid. I just wonder what her childhood was like. I am so sorry your husband had to hear such a statement. Obviously he should know that there is no truth to such a remark. It is amazing any family member can continue to deal with her.
Without really knowing what is going on, or for how long, I am guessing that the rest of the family are wise to move away from Narcissistic people. There is never any pleasing them, and they are ruinous to the lives of others, whether you share blood with them or not.
What part of your post do you want advice for: that your M & F pushed everyone away? That you are stuck as the only communicator (and therefore the go-between)? Or are you looking for thoughts on how to reconnect the family? Please clarify your question, thanks.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You can't force a relationship. My DH was kicked to the curb a few months ago and it really devastated him. Not that he misses his mom, he doesn't, he just feels awful about the things she said to him. I don't care how old you are, or how angry you are at someone, there are some things that simply do NOT need to be said.
One of those is "I wish I'd had an abortion, rather than have you." "You completed ruined my life. I've never had a happy day in my life".
She's 90--and not demented enough to make that an excuse. She's just mean as a snake and doesn't care about anyone but herself. So there she sits, all alone in her house, creeping around hanging on chairs and the wall as she navigates her way around. (Won't use a walker, those are for OLD PEOPLE)..so we sit and wait for the next fall.
She does not have friends, hates all her neighbors and expects SIL to be there daily to take care of her. SIL obliges.
You're probably finding that mom doesn't want to have anyone in her life. You can't solve this problem, don't even try.
Dealing with narcissistic elderly parents is a huge topic on this site.