My husband is 72 and started to concern about his memory loss and talking about taking medication. He indeed forgets what we talked previously frequently these days but I don’t think medication is necessary at this point. When he doesn’t remember, I tend to respond to him like ‘that’s what I said before’, ‘that’s what we just discussed yesterday’ and that’s upset both of us. I’d like advice on how to deal with the situation without hurting his feelings and upsetting myself. He has diabetes but physically healthy and work out a few times a week.
I totally understand that age-related decline is not a pleasant topic but avoidance and emotional distress won't be helpful to either of you. You must come to peace with the fact that NO ONE lives forever, and much of aging is beyond our control but one can still control or prepare for certain eventualities. Seventy-two is young! Make sure you both have all your legal protections in place soon, before he is not legally competent to create those documents (Power of Attorney, Advance Medical Directive also known as a Living Will, and Last Will, maybe create a trust if recommended by the lawyer), An appointment with an elder law attorney is an excellent investment to help you understand what needs to be done so you can have as much peace of mind as possible. Make sure to discuss Medicaid qualification as many responsible people eventually need their care covered by this state-run program.
Teepa Snow has some excellent videos on YouTube about aging and dementia (and others as well). There are excellent books to read. Education will take the fearfulness out of it. Finally, make sure his diabetes is well-controlled, because if not, it will eventually lead to renal failure which equals dialysis 3x every week for the rest of his life. Make sure to preserve time every day for your own self-care. Be courageous! We all must go through it. If it helps to talk to a pastor or priest, please do this -- whatever it takes to fortify you for the journey. May you receive peace in your hearts!