I am still employed. I am an RN and graduated in 1974 (old!) Ha! Anyway, prior to COVID my husband was refusing shaving, mouth care, nail care (poop under long nails). The first time I saw him recently he has along beard (ungroomed) with his mustache way below his lips, other people’s clothes. Last year I asked for an Ativan order prior to a grooming session and the doc would not give it and still refuses. My beautician friend will do the hair and beard.
Is the doctor associated with the NH? Did u go thru the DON? Private Dr., then I may find another Dr. The DON should be well aware of how ur husband is. If you had requested Ativan, maybe the DON should request it. As said, if he is anxious all the time, that is not good for him.
That said, NOTHING has happened in the last year because of Covid.
If the staff doctor at the residence is refusing, I might consider an attempt to over ride him using an outside geriatric psychiatrist.
ALSO, if the uncooperative physician is a generalist, could you request social services to give you a connection to THEIR choice of geriatric psychiatrist, hopefully someone who would be more cooperative with you?
Depending on the laws in your state they might not be able to do nail care other than filing the nails any more. (both feet and hands)
When the facility showers him they should also be cleaning the nails just soap and water I do not think they can use a nail brush, again check state laws.
I would get a different doctor if the one that he has refuses to give medication for his anxiety. And chances are it would probably be needed prior to them showering or bathing him.
Your friend that is a beautician can also do his nails.