I am 63 and working from home and caring for my 65 yo spouse with vascular dementia. My daughter has come to live with me which helps. My husband is probably stage 5-6. He constantly dwells on our relationship and is bored just sitting at home all day while I work. His memory is definitely affected and he can’t really play cards etc. I’ve tried to find an adult daycare in the area but apparently they are all closed. Any suggestions? I’ve tried getting him to read, exercise, do the laundry etc. He just wants to fixate on me and is very depressed. He does see a geriatric psychiatrist and takes medication which has taken for years. Just looking for suggestions!
Your husband fixating on you could be Shadowing, which often comes with dementia, or it could be a type of OCD/paranoia. You should talk to a neurologist about reviewing his meds, as he may now need them for those symptoms.
In the past I hired an awesome companion aid for my 2 elderly Aunts through an agency. They had her for 6 years until she retired. I had to cycle through a few bad fits first, but this lady was totally worth it.
Since your husband is pretty young, he must have some guys that know him. You could opt to pay 2 or 3 of them to be his companions on a regular basis and do a little training of them yourself (or point them to a book or videos on YouTube). The right person is worth training.
Large churches sometimes run Adult Day Care on their premises but don't spend much on advertising to keep the costs down. Call up a few big local churches and ask, they might know if other churches in the area have programs even if they don't.
I wish you all the best in getting the right solution for both of you!
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=activities+for+elderly+with+dementia&hvadid=580696441831&hvdev=t&hvlocphy=9052218&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=12320174378583113676&hvtargid=kwd-311218545835&hydadcr=22597_13493304&tag=googhydr-20&ref=pd_sl_5qui9glo6s_e
At Home Activities For Dementia Patients
https://www.healthline.com/health/dementia/activities-for-dementia-patients-at-home
Keep in mind that with advanced dementia at play, there may be few activities your husband is able to or interested in participating in. The second link discusses that fact in further detail.
Golden Grace Adult Day Care
4.3 star rating
Adult day care center in McKinney, Texas
1710 N McDonald St, McKinney, TX 75071
Monday8:30 AM–4:30 PM
Tuesday8:30 AM–4:30 PM
Wednesday8:30 AM–4:30 PM
Thursday8:30 AM–4:30 PM
Friday8:30 AM–4:30 PM
Saturday9:30 AM–4:30 PM
SundayClosed
https://www.goldengracedahs.com/
Good luck.
They do a wonderful job with folks with dementia. You can bring them up to 5 days a week and up to 8 hours a day. And they serve breakfast, lunch and a snack, and offer lots of different activities to keep folks busy.
I would double check with your Senior Services, and Area Agency on Aging as well, as they can let you know what's available in your area.
Other than that perhaps you can see if you can have a volunteer come sit with him awhile and keep him occupied.
Check with your church and the Shepherd Center as they have folks that come out for free.
Have you investigated any day care programs? Call your local council on aging.
I am so very sorry. I wish I had a clue what to suggest and I hope many others do. I wish you the best and hope you'll update us.