My mom is 82 and is insulin dependent, has neuropathy and is becoming increasingly forgetful. She wants to live with us. My dad died 9 years ago, we have been trying to get mom to sell her house since dad died and it still hasn't happened. If she lives with us, she will be alone all day and we each work an hour or more from home. I know it won't work to have her live with us. I did offer this when dad died but she wouldn't sell the house and now it is harder than ever. I work full time and am too beat at the end of the day to do her cleaning and mine. Does Medicare or Medicaid pay for that ?
I thought being in florida where is warm would do her good, I quess not. sometimes she wont even come out of her room. its frustrating.
In phase1 of my life, I was staff for certificate of review & other health issues for a really huge, huge COG in the regional planning sector in the 1980's. At the time AOA was in the same building. Now in 2016, this AoA has its own building, staff, 2 satellite offices, etc although is still a part of the COG for funding flow.
AoA is your tax $$ at work. The ombudsman resident & CHAP programs are usually paid by AoA as are Medicare benefits counseling. Some AoA are very well funded and have residential modification /repairs programs, transportation assistance. COGs & AoA can't advertise per se because of how their funded. That why many have no idea that they even exist. But AoA is an way underused resource. Your tax $ - use it!
The next thing you need to address is whether or not your mom would qualify for Medicaid? If yes, then I suggest you contact your local Area on Aging to determine what if any type of benefit your state provides for Medicaid recipients for residential care. This varies by state since Medicaid is funded by both the federal government and individual states. Also, be prepared that your state may provide the benefit you want but call it something other than assisted living; for example, they may call it senior housing or adult group homes, etc.
Good luck!
1.) Get a reverse mortgage and pay for someone to come into the house & help her during the day, or;
2.) Sell the house altogether, move in with you and use the proceeds of the house sale to pay for someone to spend the day with her in your home while you & your husband are working.
Assisted living is not really an answer---they don't stay with you all day. They just give help when needed.
Older people are stubborn when it comes to selling their homes----that is their biggest asset and they have control over it. Selling it means that they no longer have their biggest asset under their control. My mother is the same way. I hope the day never comes when she needs to go into a nursing home, because they will take everything she has due to her stubbornness about putting the house in my name. If the situation ever necessitated total care for her, I'd have her take out a reverse mortgage to pay for help in the home before going into a nursing home.
Over time, waivers started happening to off set the bigger costs of NH care. Some states have wide easily available waivers for AL that pay a good state reinbursement rate so facilities want to participate. Other states don't & for those an AL, if they even participate in waiver program, require a period of time (usually 2years) of private pay before they can get one of the set # of Medicaid beds. Like TX is a very very low reinbursement state so most AL do not participate in waivers, & due to this a lot of NH have residents who are might be ok in AL but are instead in a NH.
Waiver funding can change. What is trending now is that waiver funding is moving to PACE or expansion of other community based programs that keeps them in their home. There is a PACE center by us (Benson Center) that is medicaid waiver funded and seems to be going gangbusters (another is getting set up). But it's not all sunshine & champagne because what these programs do is shift some caregiving back to family either to do for free or private pay for outside of the elders time @ PACE or when the waiver paid inhome caregivers leaves. Most programs have a hour limit as to services provided. Once they go over the tipping point - maybe 32/38 hrs - its not cost effective so the waiver stops.
For family that works or has other priorities or just isn't cut out to caregive, or lives away, or the level of caregiving needed is too much for family to reasonably do, these programs aren't an option. I'm sure community based works for some. But it's not like have your elder being in an AL, NH or board & care home where there is 24/7 staff & oversight.