Two years ago, my then 91 year old mother dashed out her door without her walker, took a tumble, and broke her neck. Months in rehab and then more months at home with visiting medical practitioners, she was restored her to nearly normal and continued living alone in a 3-bedroom, two story home. Then this summer, at age 93 when she was still functioning quite well except for being severely vision-compromised, she went outside just about noon to do a little gardening, a piece of bad judgment, and passed out from heat stroke. She was nearly dead when she was discovered 10 hours later. She agreed it was time to move to a retirement community, with "concierge" care which means lovely people check in on her frequently. We distributed and sold her lifetime of furniture and possessions, keeping a "skeleton crew" of living and bedroom furniture, necessities, clothes, keepsakes, and all family photos. We settled her into a very nice retirement community just down the hall from my brother and his wife. Escrow on her house closes in three weeks. (Her home is in a trust owned by her beneficiaries. We want to complete the sale.) Mom's health is--again--nearly restored to normal. But she's 93 and has twice used nearly lethal bad judgment. Last night she exploded about her cramped, horrible apartment, the loss of her accumulated possessions, said she's miserable, wants to move home, but home is all but gone. She knows she made this decision, but she wants to unmake it. I've had a sleepless night. Her three (old ourselves) children believe she should stay put in the retirement community. That day was coming regardless, and she can settle in and get used to it before her vision is entirely gone. Seeking the thoughts of others with similar dilemmas.
When we were moving my in-laws to independent living, my father-in-law called his sons, who had scheduled everything, to reschedule the movers. My husband asked me what I thought and I said that if he and his brothers gave in to his dad's request, that all their work would be undone bit by bit and their parents would never move.
My FIL knew he couldn't do any of the work himself to undo the move so he threw temper tantrums on the phone with his sons. Holding firm - e.g. movers coming as scheduled - was the only way forward because we all were losing our sanity trying to keep my in-laws propped up in their charade of independence.
Be clear with your mother about the consequences of any attempt by her to undo the sale of her house in order to return to it. You and your brother must stand together.
"Her home is in a trust owned by her beneficiaries"
If the beneficiaries created the Trust, this would make sense. I assumed your mother created the Trust. The term "owns" isn't typically used though when identifying the principals of a trust.
I'm not trying to be a nitpicker, just raising some critical issues.
You wrote: " Escrow on her house closes in three weeks. (Her home is in a trust owned by her beneficiaries. We want to complete the sale.)"
If the realtor hasn't raised this issue, it might not exist, but my first thoughts were that typically the individual creating a Trust is known as the Settlor, and remains so until passing, UNLESS other provisions exist to enable to a Successor Trustee to act while the Settlor is still alive.
Beneficiaries typically refers to those identified pursuant to a Will, which when a trust is created, can be "poured over" into the Trust, i.e., the terms of the Will are more or less incorporated into the Trust. But a Successor Trustee still must be identified.
If your mother is still the Settlor, and there are no provisions in the Trust for someone else to act while she is still living, you really should get legal advice as to whether or not the sale can even go forward but especially could be challenged.
Who signed the purchase agreement? Your mother? A potential Successor Trustee? The beneficiaries? If the bennies, pursuant to which legal document did they sign?
This is really important; you'll need to resolve this before proceeding to closing, especially if she wants now wants to return home.
If you're already addressed this, I apologize for raising an alarm, but it's the first thing I thought of when I read a Trust is involved. Whoever signed the purchase agreement had to be legally able to do so on behalf of your mother (unless she signed it herself, but I didn't get the impression that was the situation.)
In the end you may just have to say...Mom I am sorry but it too late to go back. You have had two bad experiences that you are lucky you survived. Its time to be logical that you cannot live in that house alone anymore. The upkeep alone is to much.
I do have a question though.
Does mom have to be present to sign papers at the closing?
If so is there a possibility that at that time she can say that she does not want to sell? If so there is a good likelihood that the potential buyers could sue her.
If she does not need to be there I would not bring her. But she does sound competent for the most part so I do not know if someone is acting on her behalf.