My father is in a washington state nursing care after having a second stroke. They say she is agitating him, he says he hates her, he doesn't he diesnt have any blood flow to the left side of his brain, he told the nurse that she pulled a knife on him, she would never do that , mom said that one of the nurses kissed him, now they say they need to do an investigation that will take 5 days, so they wont let her see him at all during that time, is this legal
As a professional, I always keep the boundaries & have only kissed on the forehead. But I had worked in that facility for 20yrs.
In my experience, nursing homes are happy to have the positive presence of family members. But this situation is obviously very different. Mother's presence does not appear to be calming and indeed seems to be disturbing. This may not be her fault at all, but the NH does have to protect their resident from disturbances.
Let us hope this is for a short adjustment period.
# 1 They don't allow pro bono guests.
#2 They cannot assume the liability if said guest falls or gets hurt.
#3 They don't provide excess beds.
#4 Some Nursing Homes (at least the one my mom was in) have residents who are wandering the halls.
#5 Loss of said guest's personal effects.
they didnt give her it cause she was fine .but they had a scrip for bladder control & her urologist said to me not to give her any but if she became a problem they would have gave her it ..they run it for there benefit .but if your not a p.o.a you have no power is the way i think it goes so you need to explain to everyone that you need to have a p.o.a to help them out not the nursing home they do not care for them but at there own benefit ..
Things have to be investigated to ensure the facts are as they are presented and for everyone's protection,
I hope things worked out regarding your mother's visits and maybe, having her visit during the day would make your dad more comfortable. I hope you will post the outcome.
It would be good to hear a follow-up. We learn from each other!
Write everything down. Then, can you get your mother away from this for another four days? Take her to a spa hotel, help her spring clean the house, send her to relatives, just anything to get her over the hump and get her to rest.
The only other suggestion I can make, and I wouldn't recommend it because I honestly think it will only increase her stress exponentially, is that you consult an attorney. It can't be okay for your father to be isolated completely; so even if your mother can't visit (with all these hair-raising allegations flying around you can see why, no?) then surely another family member or perhaps a guardian ad litem can.
Your dad has had two strokes; has he been evaluated for vascular dementia? Early on, after her stroke, my mom became very agitated and had many delusions (the aides were having sex in her bathroom, dead bodies were being carted about, she was having to manage her medications with no help from the nurses ( she said this to me as the nurse handed her her meds), and that she needed to pay extra for everything that was done for her ( showers, dressing, etc.). All of these things were demonstrably untrue.
It took us a couple of days to figure it out, but it became clear that mom was sundowning; these odd perceptions showed up mostly in the late afternoon and early evening. The geriatric psychiatrist who serviced the facility stopped by and started mom on some meds for anxiety, eventually finding the right combo. Just consider that as a possibility.