Mom is in NH since last month. Didn't want to go but due to poor physical health and dementia we were forced to give up caring for her. At first, she loved the home and is quite healthy and was social. Over the last week, however, she appears to be getting near delirium. She was hospitalized last yr for 16 days in psych unit for delirium. Nursing home has asked for no visits or phone calls come us for a week and then only briefly in front of nurses station. Nurse told me if she continues to bother other residents they would ship her to Alzheimer's home. Why can't they take her to her psychiatrist one hr away. Can't she go back into psych ward from th NH? I would drive her. They are giving her reality treatment prescribed by their mental health specialist. Her behavior drastically went downhill after my evil sister visited her and told her she didn't belong there etc. now my good sister and I who took care if her 24/7 for te lat year and a half must sit at station and be punished a well. I am so sad and frustrated. I gave up y guardianship to public guardian in order to get mom help now I have no say so. I know she needs to see her psychiatrist. War am I to do. I have to take Xanax in order to sleep.. I love her so much!
if a facility wouldn't want a family member with the power to direct/supervise their loved ones care in the facility---I would exercise my powers to remove them.
Nothing worse for a fragile, confused elder than to be in unfamiliar setting and no familiar faces (family members). Adding the feelings of desertion and rejection to these folks would not improve their health mental or other.
While we may not know exactly the level of care being offered in this case, I am
pretty sure this facility does not meet the highest score in this state. Unfortunately many, many nursing homes and assisted living facilities accept large numbers of patients for whom they have very little chance of providing good quality care. While excellent facilities do exist they are in the minority and we as a nation (supposedly a Christian nation) turn a blind eye to their plight.
I pray each evening for the elderly who are not receiving the good care they so
deserve.
that was meant to be "harrassed the" psychiatrist (NOT "arrest a" psychiatrist)
I can tell you that I was my mother's 24/7/365 caregiver but when my sister, who had NEVER in her caregiver, decided to wrest control of the situation, filed in court to prove my mom incompetent (which we already knew because we had a diagnosis of dementia from the psychiatrist) and be awarded conservatorship, her lawyers and my moms court appointed lawyers, arrest a psychiatrist to such an extent that he withdrew from the case and with no longer treat my mom no matter what. This with such a shame as he was the diagnosing and treating physician of record, and the one most familiar with her case from the hospital on word. Once my sister got control, she changed our mothers doctoring to a lame "geriatrician" who couldn't have cared less about my mom. But hey, the court said it was legal.
Tho not the same exact story, I can relate to Debrasue and tell you that when the courts get involved, many times your hands are tied behind your back and if you're not submissive to them, they can make your life hell as well as the life of your loved one.
Debrasue, I'm going to state again I don't know your financial situation. Getting a lawyer to help you is expensive which is why I couldn't navigate to system very well myself. But maybe when things settle down and everyone can see what your concern is for your mother, you could petition to re-acquire guardianship under the circumstances. It is really going to depend on how much longer your mom is going to live and what did the fight on your part is worth it.
In medicine, there are many specialties and there are subspecialties within main specialties. I'm sorry but the mental health specialist and/or psychiatrist working with mom and prescribing reality treatment do not sound like folks who are experienced in Alzheimer's, dementia or memory care patients, all of whom not only drift away from reality but don't have the memory to put any kind of training into practice. This is the reason why ongoing and dynamic mental evaluation and medication management of undesirable behaviors is the only way it never ends up for this type of patient, EVER...ALWAYS. PLEASE do some reading and educate yourself on this topic.
I have worked as a therapist in several nursing homes and have never seen family visiting a patient at the nurse's station and that may be true about what Ferris 1 said about the pyschiatrist asking for a week of no visitation. What I'm wondering is are you having to do this beyond one week? Also, I'm wondering if this has something to do with your relationship with your sister. How can she be that evil if she is taking the time to come and visit your mother and how are you reacting to her when she comes to the nursing home?
If she continues with her behavior, the nursing home will more than likely send her back to a geropsychiatric unit where there is a psychiatrist to prescribe medication. Sometimes, from there, (if they have physically attacked a patient at the nursing home), they will send them to another nursing home, otherwise she would be coming back to the home.
I absolutely hate the notion that patients are routinely stuck sitting in front of nursing stations most of the days (their final days and yrs) so as to "provide" staff an opportunity to supervise them. If they need more staff to allow the patients movement to different locations, rest in their own beds for naps and God help us be supervised getting some walking therapy---then it should be mandated that they have enough trained staff to provide them with proper care.
It doesn't appear this nursing home wants to help a patient with Alzheimers. They should work with the doctor from the facility or her doctor, to get a psychiatrist to evaluate her. If her mental and physical health is declining so rapidly, clearly adequate care isn't being provided. Too often the nursing homes will get "permission" from someone other than their doctor of record to use
sedatives to get a compliant patient. However, when additional medications are not properly prescribed in light of their underlying physical and mental problems--the mental health can be harmed.
Finally never leave a loved one in any nursing home, hospital or assisted living facility that tells the family not to call or visit for a week or longer. Even prisoners have visitation hours. Asking for the family to "abandon" the patient for a week or longer is such a RED FLAG that I would report this directly to
the state agency that regulated this home, my congressman, my state assembly person and state senator.
Good luck but get help to remove your mother to a better nursing home. Patient care is not priority one at her current home.
... I apologize
memory care home where they understand her condition and treat it appropriately
causing agitation or combativeness
known the disease will progress and its not a curable condition
help of an attorney and re-acquire your guardian ship
could also required The Guardian to include you in the information
And was it the public guardian who located your mom in the nursing home she's in? My immediate sense as I read your post is your mom is not in the right kind of facility. She likely SHOULD be in a locked Alzheimer's, dementia or memory care home with a under standard condition and treated appropriately.
I don't know if it is your "evil" sisters fault that your mother's behavior has changed; it may be a coincidence at your mom's dementia is just progressing. When dementia gets to the point of causing education or combativeness, that's hard as it is for us to have to watch our love one being medicated, medication management is pretty much the only way to handle the problem.
You're thinking psychiatrist but the problem with that is insurance is going to pay for medical need when someone has an acute attack of some conditions that the doctor feel can be treated or cared. Once the diagnosis is dementia, it is known that the disease will progress and it's not terrible person. That means it becomes a situation of long term care, the residential cost which is not paid for by insurance it can be paid for by a combination of Medicare and Medicaid. They will not authorize long term "fancy" treatment (MY word) because treatment has to be productive.
All in all, is hard is this is for you guys, I don't think she's in the right place, managed by the right people and being given the right medicine. I don know your financial situation, but you may be able to seek the help of an attorney Andrea choir your guardian ship. The court that granted guardianship could also required a guardian to include you in the information. Sonething is very wrong about this. Don't give up.