Odor of...you know.

My husband (age 92) with dementia still knows when he has to go. This is about odors. He accidentally leaked down the side of the mattress and box springs. I sprayed them with a mixture of vinegar and baking soda, but that wasn't the greatest smell either. I found a great solution using animal odor spray I saw with other sprays in the drugstore. It is foamy and you just let it dry. Has really worked and does not have an overwhelming odor like other sprays.

Try a few drops of Vanilla around her room. Really works. Plus pleasant for us.

The chances are that mother can’t smell herself because she is used to it. I loved the smell of leather, and lost the ability to smell it when I worked in the office of a leather factory. It's the same with BO. Could you approach it in a different way – a check box somewhere with stick-ons when she has changed? And an incentive, like no coffee if the stick-ons aren’t up to date?

My Mom has dementia and gets very angry if we say she needs changing and doesn't believe anybody but she is in nursing home and she is diapers and fights staff all the time (most staff is afraid of her so may not try to change her) but head staff have started using charcoal pads under her bed and also I think is volcanic ash of some sort that they use for cancer patients and they put up high on cupboard. Floors are bleached most days and bedding there is supposed to be changed daily when she is in dining room so as not to be angry for them being in her room. I'm thankful the smell thing is mostly taken care of since I tried everything and nothing worked. In Canada it's all paid for by government except her rent and laundry so is $66 a day and cause she is in very low income the government supplements her rent up to a certain amount. I go almost daily to make sure she is getting all the help and exercise she needs and if she took her pills which she fights daily or refuses depending on the nurse giving it. Hope some of this helps you!

Many elders lose their olfactory sense. My late mother did. I found that the concentrated room sprays mask any bad odor. Can be found for example at Bath & Body Works and they last a loooong time! I pulled my mother aside to tell her that she had a bad odor about her, but it fell on deaf ears (another faltering sense).

There are items that can assist (probably not a complete fix) with reducing odor; charcoal (for fish tanks)can be spread thinly in a pan under her bed; or baking soda (in a cute but porous container), even just a small fan that moves the air some; and there are plants that help, too, either because they have a pleasant odor or because they are more efficient at processing the air (spider plants for example).

Do the soiled undergarments get thrown into a container in your mother's room? or is it just her prolonged wearing of the soiled undergarments that causes her room to smell?

Poopouri (sp?) works well for reducing odor in a toilet.... there are stick-on air fresheners for diaper pails, and you can also buy those air freshening wicks for her room. In the hospital we would put wintergreen oil on a gauze 4x4 and hang it somewhere in the patient's room when they had an odor that couldn't be dispelled.

Hanging a car air freshener may work - if the room is small. You can also use dryer sheets - we use them in the outer layer of dressings for smelly wounds. Most of these items won't be too irritating for residents or staff who might have allergies/sensitivities.
Maybe try a combination of opening an outside window as able, using a DE-odorizer along with a freshener of some kind (such as your febreeze).
Worse comes to worse, maybe you would need to purchase a small air purifier.... they usually help quite a bit but that might be pricey, be more in the way, and of course, take energy to run. Whew...hope you find something that works.

There is a great and inexpensive product called Odoban. It is also a great cleaner and germicide. I found it in the deodorizer section at Walmart. Its in a spray bottle and I believe costs less than $3.00. It has a lovely odor and take away that awful nursing home smell. Great for cleaning the wheel chair and almost all surfaces. I clean my bathrooms with it. I think the secret ingredient is Eucalyptus oil. As far as your Mom agreeing to letting them change her more often, it probably won't happen. They just need to do it. Have a discussion with the Staff and they will try. I find a weekly phone call to the nurse in charge or the social workers helps with the care of my in-laws and they appreciate the fact that we are involved with their care. Hope this is helpful

WVson1,
Yes there are inserts that can be put inside a tab brief or pull up.
It typically will not have a non absorbent layer on the back of it so what the extra pad does not absorb the brief will. So the use of a double brief or a sanitary pad will not work as they have a liner on the back that prevents or is supposed to prevent leaks.
And there are some very good protective pads that absorb a lot of fluid. The reusable one that I purchased is one that I saw on Costco site the manufacturer is Conni but I am sure there are many others.

You use the Barbsol after you have washed the area, spread it on and wipe it off. We also used it like a soap because it is shaving cream.

Why, why, why are they letting her get away with this crap? That is insane. If she can't or won't cooperate, then get the proper people to make her change her attire. It is disgusting to allow this behavior. There is nothing that will make the smell go away except putting her out into the open woods and tying her to a tree so the air can purify her. Why is she not in a facility. She is NOT going to change and it will get worse. You should not be subjected to this horror and I would never allow it to continue.

Following this thread for advice too. Hope you find a solution WVson1!

Relative's apartment yesterday for a family gathering was Offensive with capital O. Have not smelt AL like this: like an iron infused BM in a rabbit hutch.

LO #1 mild incontince, 3 x shower assists p/w now cut down to 2 & most probably refused most recent one. Also resists having clothes washed - ever.

LO #2 mod-severe incontinent + occasional BM incontinece, 3 x shower assist (needs daily) but at least clean clothes.

Sat near open window.

I plan to bring own airfreshner next time & just spray the bathroom, close door, empty bin, spray that & open window w i d e. Any questions will be answered kindly but honestly *your apartment needs some fresh air*.

WVson1;

First of all, kudos to you and any other sons/male family members who are doing their best to help! Certainly all the females here get kudos too, but there are not as many of the men represented on this site, so special kudos to you and welcome to our "family."

"How do I convince my mother, with advanced dementia..."
There is no short answer to any question about convincing someone with dementia to do anything they don't want to do. You can't argue with, reason with or order dementia around. It will do what it wants. Suggestions can help, giving choices can help, but something that works once or a few times might not work the next time! Get creative... Gee mom, I have to go use the rest room, how about you? Try to make it her idea. No guarantees what will work - each person and their behavior are unique.

You say she is in AL with graduating to MC. If she is still in AL, toileting and changing are going to be more difficult. Many AL staff do not have extra time or the "skills" needed to coax people into compliance. MC might be the right move for her at this point. Even there they cannot force someone to comply - they have to work it out with finesse. There are less staff/person in regular AL, so they won't be able to spend 1/2 hour trying to get mom to go.

Suggestions for "briefs" - are you currently using the overnight ones? If not, those will hold more and help with some of the leaking. If you are, yes, there are other inserts that can be used. I don't recall the exact one we tried, but it was a Walmart brand - can't say how well it worked as we needed it for overnight wetting that came out of nowhere (added to regular extra absorbent briefs and pads for the bed.) She would refuse to get up at night when they tried to get her up, and she, the bedding and her nightclothes would be soaked! Not sure if this will help though - it sounds like she doesn't know she needs changing, so it'll just be extra padding. That might help with some of the leaking, but won't really solve the problem.

That said, forgive me if someone else has asked or you have tried this, but you did mention UTI in your profile - has she been tested recently? I would recommend the more extensive culture test, not just the dip stick. Turns out mom's issue WAS a UTI. The only other one she had since moving to MC, which was some time ago, caused some severe sun-downing, ranting she had to get out, go home, etc. This time, no sun-downing, but soaking herself and the bed at night - clearly urinating more than usual. Perhaps this is causing your mother to urinate more often and therefore be wet/leaking more - it could be more odorous as well (from medicinenet - "When there is an infection in the urinary tract, the urine may take on a foul-smelling odor as well as appear cloudy or bloody.")

Odor in the room - is it from the chair or from other items as well (bed, floor, clothes, trash bin, laundry basket?) if her chair has been "hit" so often, it might be best to ditch that one and get another, preferably something easier to clean. A covered bin for dirty items and another for used "briefs", perhaps with some kind of odor control in it might help? Has the carpet been cleaned recently (sniff test works)? Is the mattress protected? Last time I visited mom, I used the bathroom in the hallway - EEEEEEUUUUW. I think it was likely used briefs sitting in the trash bin - the floor was not wet and nothing was in the toilet, so likely the dirty briefs...

The only other option is to try a minimal dose of anti-anxiety meds (if she can take them - check with doc/pharmacy) - it reduces their stress level a bit and can make them more compliant without doping them up. We have it on-hand as needed only, for any repeat sun-downing episodes! I am not a fan of meds, but this one was great! It doesn't take time to build up in the system, doesn't dope mom up and is just enough to take the edge off and make her more compliant if/when needed.

Ask the facility to change her more often - your mom is past the stage of remembering anything so don't try to convince her of anything because you are wasting your breath

Try something from the pet store that eliminates urine smell for dogs/cats - I used this on something my mom nearly ruined & it didn't smell afterwards even after 5 years - change the cushion for a leather or faux-leather cushion with a washable pad over it for comfort etc

My mother is in assisted living as well and I am experiencing the same issues with bathing and bodily cleanliness.  Many folks do not understand that AL is just that ... assistance.  If your mom can't/won't take care of any part of her cleanliness, then she needs more than assistance.  I am struggling to make that call for mom too.  We have increased her care to have "assisted" showers twice a week and she fights it every time by saying..."I just washed" when clearly she hasn't.  She will wear the same outfit every day with food stains down the front of it unless I strongly suggest that she change so I can try to get the stains out.  It is a struggle and I know I am going to have to make the call to move her to memory care, but I am holding out at the moment.  I wish you well on your future decision making...

Convince a person with advanced dementia of anything seems like an exercise in futility. Regardless of what I explain to my sister who has dementia it just never sticks, and she forgets one minute to the next.

In regards to odor, you might try to spray a bit of OZIUM it’s not a continuous thing, you personally have to spray it. It’s something I use to refresh the interior of my cars.

You can usually find the small aerosol spray can at almost any auto parts shop like O’Reilleys, Auto Zone, type stores.

May seem crazy to go to auto parts store for air freshener but OZIUM has been sold in auto parts stores for 50 years that I’m aware of.

Charcoal also absorbs odors. Good luck.

My mother has Huntington's Chorea disease and in a long term care facility. Reasonably very nice place. When Mom is having a "fighty- disagreeable day," it gets ugly. She refuses to receive services, sometimes won't allow the workers to feed her,etc. How does or can staff get tasks done when the resident is biting, fighting and kicking? The workers don't deserve to be treated that way either.
I apologize... This response may not be helpful. I am floating a similar boat and wish I had an answer... Thanks for listening 🙃