Old caregiver wants a reference, would you give them one?
My mom’s old care giver wants a job reference. I told my dad no. We had them for about two years. During that time they did what they wanted, always on their cell phone, brought their family drama in (that we did not want to hear), etc. It was something every day with her complaining about her husband. It was like pulling teeth with this person, she would complain about making food or light housework. It was not hard we, have a very small house. She broke several things, like our vacuum cleaner. I don’t know why she kept playing with it. She knows she broke it then she broke our weather monitor that we use for storms and stuff. She denied breaking those two things. I saw her break the vacuum cleaner she would sit there and play with it for an hour instead of watching my mom and then she would want to sit there and play with our weather monitor as well. I think she broke two other items in our house. I have always told my dad that she should’ve paid for our vacuum cleaner because it was very expensive. We still don’t know why she was sitting there playing with it until she broke it. She also stole a vacuum cleaner from my aunt’s and tried to pass it on saying it was ours. Would you give her a reference? I actually saw her break our vacuum. The look on her face because I caught her. I told my dad, she denied it. She all so took care of my aunt and broke a few things there too.
If he gets a call from someone seeking a reference you only answer the questions asks. If ask if you were satisfied with her as an employee, you can say no but do not go into detail. If asked about her performance or doing what was expected of her, you can say for you, unsatisfactory. You do not go into detail. Was she on time, no. Take too much time off, yes. You need to be very careful because of slander.
Nice and bland, and depending on the tone used, your impression of them will be loud and clear.
My only question is, why did you keep them for two years if they were so awful?
If anyone asks or insists you say more tell them that you do not wish to speak to them further and hang up the phone.
You are not obligated to provide references, but you should refrain from a lot of criticism that can get the ex-caregiver upset enough to seek legal help.