My mother, who is 81. She lives in her home. She is on the first floor and I live on the second floor. This has made it easy for me to become more involved with appointments, errands and different tasks, but I need to work and focus on me a bit more. I find my responsibilities fall to the wayside trying to keep up with her needs, or wants. She loves to go to stores and just linger, she still wants to be a part of the grocery shopping process and she likes to go to church. She never learned to drive, and in recent years, has fallen a couple of times venturing out on her own and it has become too risky. She use to enjoy walking a few blocks to the pharmacy or nearby grocery store. She also enjoys being out in her back yard Garden. Because she owns a home, has Savings, Checking and Retirement Accounts, she has not qualified for programs with the Dept. of Again in Illinois. Unless I am doing something wrong. I tried looking into applying to be a paid Caregiver but she has to qualify for state program first. I don't feel like there are options outside of having to pay out of pocket. It is an expense she doesn't want to pay for and one I can't afford. I am hoping I am wrong about limited options. If anyone has any suggestions, I would appreciate it.
Thank you,GB
My Mom had to quit driving. So that left me taking her places...when I could make the time. Appts were made when I could do it. We had one day a week we shopped and ran errands. DH and I already took Friday to eat out, she joined us after Dad passed. Do you take her to church but would rather be home? See if someonevin the congregation will pick her up and bring her home. I was lucky, Mom had her widowed friends and her Church. Maybe look into Senior bussing. That does not go by income but need. Our service has outings and shopping to Walmarts and other places. Maybe Mom would do well in Adult Care a couple of times a week, They do outings too.
Maybe someone else here will have other ideas .
As far as the walking , does she need a walker ?
Have you told Mom that you can’t linger in the stores too long?
It is good that you recognize that you need to set some boundaries and take care of yourself .
That being said , for now , if no volunteers are available , you have to tell your mother that her needs are increasing and that her savings is for her retirement needs , which now includes the need for her to hire help to take her shopping, and whatever else you need to be relieved of doing , like cleaning , laundry , her meals , so you can get work done , and also have your own free time to do what you want .
Do not ever spend your own money to hire help . She’s the one that needs help , she uses her money .,
Your Mom doesn’t want her life to change and she wants you to help keep things from changing . She wants you to prop up her lifestyle . You need boundaries so Mom doesn’t control your life .