Papa wants to come home again! 93 with Parkinson’s and chronic pain in back and hips. Any ideas on how we can keep him where he is now?
Hi all! I need some advice! He fell at home, the medics came and picked him up, as usual. He’s fallen several times in the last two months because he is so weak. We missed the call from Life Alert because of the new spam crap the phone company put in. So Papa called a couple hours later screaming in pain. We called 911 and went to ER. Xrays & CTscan later, no injuries. Anxiety and panic attack was the diagnosis. His doctor admitted him because he was so weak and he had lost 8 lbs. in one week. Time for discharge, he failed the PT test, so off to Rehab he goes. Of course, he blames his doctor.
So it’s been 10 days. We can’t see him because no visitors allowed. He gets minimal therapy daily, but he’s still in a wheelchair. He calls here twice a day wanting to go home. Says if his doctor thinks he’s keeping him here, he’s got another thing coming. Wants us to get him discharged.
Issues: several days he couldn’t even get out of bed at home. And he couldn’t remember to press his Life Alert for help. He’d just lay there.
His house has very narrow doorways, so a wheelchair won’t fit, he has trouble even getting a walker through. He wasn’t eating, even though we provide meals and every goody you can think of.
He does so much better at the NH, he’s eating and visiting - instead of being a shut in, only seeing us once a day.
His body is giving out, but his mind is still sharp. Once in awhile, he will have a day or two of confusion but he always bounces back (Parkinson’s Disease Dementia Early Stages).
Any ideas on how we can keep him where he is now? I know the usual advice is to wait for a fall. That’s happened, but didn’t solve the problem.
7 Answers
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Can you find out what they are providing for pain? This may be your ace card, papa you have to stay here to get the meds that help with your pain! Worth investigating.
Since that meeting, he says his back and hips are screaming in pain and he has take to his bed. Which proves he can’t go home. But makes me wonder if he’s given up, or given up the act he was putting on there to get discharged.
Not. A. Hope.
"We're all in quarantine, Dad. I'm afraid it's going to have to wait." Hey, it's not *your* fault there's a global pandemic on!
If he can't afford in-home care and if you are not willing to be his full-time caregiver then maybe you should consider this opportunity to transfer him to LTC since he is resistant and that's probably where he needs to be. You should start researching facilities and their prices to know if he can afford it out of pocket. If he will need Medicaid you should get him into a facility on private pay first and then apply. Make sure the facility accepts Medicaid recipients. I wish you success in solving this issue and peace in your heart as to the outcome.
He won’t let us stay there with him and he won’t live with us. He will only accept one solution, and that is living alone. I don’t know if he is being unreasonable, or bullheaded, or if it’s the cognitive impairment. He’s always had to have his own way. Had to have his own business, because he couldn’t work under a boss. Same mentality here, no one is going to tell him what to do.
The Rehab he is currently in accepts Medicaid patients and he is already enrolled. It’s the same place he was in two years ago, for the same reason. But his body is in much worse shape now.
My sister has POA, but we’ve been told that she can’t use it because he is still too sharp. It’s a real dilemma.
Tell him that if he complies with rehab and even works safely on his own to gain strength you will assess the situation when the threat of transmitting COVID 19 is over.
The question is where can he go safely? Are there family members that have a set up that would make discharge to home safe?
If there is no safe place then placing him in a facility where he would get 24/7/365 care is the only option.
The big question is does he need Memory Care or Assisted Living?
And what type of dementia has he been diagnosed with? Alzheimer's, Vascular or more likely Lewy Body Dementia. With the Parkinson's a proper diagnosis is important.
He is not safe to go home alone, since he won’t allow anyone to stay with him, and he is almost too weak to walk. He is also blind now. His doctor says he is a permanent placement at the nursing home. That’s also where we think he needs to be. Unfortunately, he doesn’t agree.
His family doctor says it’s probably just age related cognitive impairment. It fits Parkinson’s Disease Dementia better, since some days he’s sharp as a tack, and others he is so far out of it.
We are also afraid that as soon as he learns that he can check himself out, that’s what he will do. Of course, he would have to find his own way home :)