My Mom lives with my husband and I. I had a post awhile back about this being the third time we have had her move in with us. The first time lasted 6 months and she was so drugged up from prescriptions and over dosing herself that it made her think we were overcharging her for her expenses. ( If she only knew how much we spent to support her.) So she moved in with her sister for several months, they clashed so we let her move in again. That time only lasted 3 months because she was so overbearing and controlling. When I told her I wasn't a kid anymore and would not put up with her negativity and power trips she got mad and back to her sisters she went. Well this time she called me crying, her sister is a lot like her, but also her sister now has dementia, she can't care for herself anymore much less my mom. I knew it would be hard, and my husband was very against it, but he said he knew it was the right thing to do. So here we are, her health is much worse now. She is in stage 4 COPD, and has heart disease plus a deformed leg because she broke it and stubbornly refused to have surgery. It is awful and has made her almost crippled, plus she has had numerous bone infections because of it.
Her attitude is much better now, because she knows there is no going back to her sisters house. It is heartbreaking to watch her health become worse and worse. The COPD is bad and she is on oxygen 24/7, she now gets out of breath just from walking around the house. I never could have imagined it would be this difficult having my mom live with me. I have been spending a good deal of time here on aging care. It has helped so much! Reading what other people are going through is not making the burden any lighter, but it is somehow comforting, and reassuring that it's not anything I'm doing wrong, if that makes any sense. I would never wish this hardship on another person. At a time in my life when I thought I would only be dealing with the empty nest issues instead I have my mom living with me and in my living room all day, she has such a negative attitude and her presence all day long is not easy And that is only the half of it. I have Fibromyalgia and degenerative joint disease from my neck down, and my husband is disabled also. It is a hard reality we are living, and I am sharing this partly to ask if anyone else has a parent who has copd, if so how did you cope? And partly to vent I guess. I know eventually she will most likely die from the lung disease or heart disease,and I hate seeing her suffer so much. Dying from copd is a bad way to go, it is like being slowly smothered to death. I'm not sure when i should ask for hospice. Has anyone else been through this? I pray everyday for God to help us, and He does get us through, but this is a hard daily reality.
captain I'm sorry for what you are going through with your mom. It sounds like she is dealing with so much, but I'm sure you being by her side and caring for her means the world to her. I know it's not easy for you.
You know it's funny you bringing up using a fan because my mom has used one for years. I bought her a small one and have it on a table near her, and to her it makes all the difference in the world. She also loves the air conditioning to be on, she even wants it on in the winter! Even though she is on oxygen she insists that the fan blowing in her face helps her breathe better. I didn't know that about the nose thingy, I think its called a canula or something like that. I'm very glad you mentioned this because my mom is always complaining she is not getting enough air. So that is something I will tell her about. Thank you.
That's great to hear your mom felt a lot better with a fan blowing in her face and was able to sleep peacefully. We also bought my mom a tiny battery operated one which hangs around her neck just like a necklace for when she has to go somewhere. Your mom is blessed to have you as a son.
Ask her doctor about hospice, and let him/her know all of her symptoms. (Duh! As if you didn't know that already!) Sorry for all your troubles.