I'm in a situation where one of my father has gone through the process of doing all of their estate planning with a trust, a POA, directive and will. Since that happened a little over a year ago the only information my father has shared with me are some vague details about what I will be getting and that I will be the executor. Recently I have seen some actions from my father that are making me question if that is actually what he has in his estate plans.
Legally I have no right to see this, and I have simply asked if this is something I can see, minus that I have been very honest in saying that I would be happy to take on the role if that is what the documents say, but that my default position is that I'm assuming that I will get nothing. With that being said what has me more concerned are the details surrounding his POA and health directives. I know he has both, but I have no idea who has been named. I have asked him multiple times directly if he can either tell me who has been named or to just tell me that he would prefer not to tell me but every time he evades the question. His current mental state is that he is legally able to make his own decisions but we are seeing early stages of what might be cognitive decline.
This puts me in the position where if something was to happen I would literally not know who to contact if I got a call. For all that I know I could be named, but based on our family dynamics there are other members of the family that I would fully expect to take legal action if I did anything that is not 110% by the book just to cause trouble. Though I am always one to run clean books with my own business this is a situation where I feel like I need to be extra careful.
Because of that I told him that if he refuses to tell me who I would need to contact then to the best of my knowledge the only thing I could legally tell someone would be that there are directives and POA's in place to the best of my knowledge but I have no idea who it is. Following on from there to my knowledge it seems like from a legal standpoint my only choice would be to not enter his house, or take on any of these roles and likewise make sure that nobody else does unless they can provide legal documentation giving them the right to do so or unless I am presented with documentation giving me the legal right to take on this role.
Am I missing anything with this? My intent is to be able to help and I would be willing to take on these roles if that was what he wanted and it is done 100% legally and ethically. But at the same time I'm really struggling with the reluctance to just tell me who I would need to contact if something happened. My goals are to be ethical, and to do everything by the book. (avoiding lawsuits etc.)
Do you know the attorney who drew up his documents? You may be able to ask if your fathers new documents for POA, etc have ACTUALLU been brought up to date and are in order. If you father seems to be unable to properly conduct his own affairs, then you would need to know who has been appointed to help him.
Very odd that this is a big secret....how does he expect your family to find out who is going to do what?