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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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That may work very well, but consider how well you all get along now. How much privacy do people need vs. how much is realistically available? This could be a long road.
Also, realize that one or both parents may eventually need nursing home care which could put the parents on Medicaid.
You should all go together to see an elder law attorney to work out any glitches that could arise should other relatives, Medicaid or personality issues cause problems.
Good luck. I hope this works out well for you all. Carol
You will encounter "Queen Bee Syndrome". Women are highly territorial. You never find two queen bees in a hive, so if your wife will be happy with just being a worker bee (and she won't) go for it. Also consider, that if they will need Medicaid for a nursing home, the house is an asset that Medicaid will include during their five-year look back. They WILL put a lien on the house. When a Medicaid beneficiary dies, the state files a claim with the probate court against the beneficiary's estate to recover amounts paid by Medicaid for the deceased beneficiary's medical care. An estate is all real and personal property and other assets of the deceased person (recipient) as defined in South Carolina State Law. See scdhhs.gov for more information.
Well, if it the parents' home, the reigning queen bee will remain the alpha female. Guaranteed. And she will sting any drone who tries to take over. To put this in perspective would, hubby allow someone to waltz in and take possession of the TV remote from then on?
I'm trying to say - which woman is going to be "in charge"? Your mom or your wife? Will your mom be willing to become a guest in her own home? Talk to other women of your acquaintance. I've found that many men are clueless about this kind of thing.
Rather your wife than me. What does she think about this idea? No, I mean, what does she really think about it? - what is she saying about it to her girlfriends, for example?
Having said the cynical/realistic things, it's true that you do get Naomi-Ruth type relationships. It's not impossible. It's just very, very rare.
plsmith1, what is your question? What "legal" options are you asking about? You've already decided on the move. You don't want our cautions about that. But it is kind of hard to tell what you are asking.
By the way, do you know anyone who's successfully managed this arrangement? If so, you should talk to them. It may work out, but real life isn't like "The Waltons," where three generations co-existed more or less peacefully in the same house. There's bound to be tensions, and differences of opinions. If you and your parents are good at conflict resolution, and the lawyer and your siblings (if any) give you the green light, then go for it. Me. I wouldn't do it for all the tea in China.
PLSmith, I'm confused by your last post. Just looking at the title, it would appear that your "legal options" arise from moving in with your parents, and expectations of inheriting the house.
Both were addressed, including cautions about transfer of real property if an eventual Medicaid application is ever required.
Posters typically also offer advice on peripherally related issues, such as the combination of two generations of families. They do that to be helpful and share the benefit of their experience.
So I'm just not clear what you mean when you write that we're not getting the point. Could you clarify?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Also, realize that one or both parents may eventually need nursing home care which could put the parents on Medicaid.
You should all go together to see an elder law attorney to work out any glitches that could arise should other relatives, Medicaid or personality issues cause problems.
Good luck. I hope this works out well for you all.
Carol
Also consider, that if they will need Medicaid for a nursing home, the house is an asset that Medicaid will include during their five-year look back. They WILL put a lien on the house.
When a Medicaid beneficiary dies, the state files a claim with the probate court against the beneficiary's estate to recover amounts paid by Medicaid for the deceased beneficiary's medical care. An estate is all real and personal property and other assets of the deceased person (recipient) as defined in South Carolina State Law. See scdhhs.gov for more information.
Having said the cynical/realistic things, it's true that you do get Naomi-Ruth type relationships. It's not impossible. It's just very, very rare.
Explain this a little more, and let us try again!
Me. I wouldn't do it for all the tea in China.
Both were addressed, including cautions about transfer of real property if an eventual Medicaid application is ever required.
Posters typically also offer advice on peripherally related issues, such as the combination of two generations of families. They do that to be helpful and share the benefit of their experience.
So I'm just not clear what you mean when you write that we're not getting the point. Could you clarify?
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