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I have been POA several months mom in AL and feeling better with meds. but still
health issues. She still wants to be in control of how things are paid for. She was so sick that they told her to sign POA. How do I help her realize I am doing what is best for her . She feels better and tells me what to do with her business. My husband said this is going to bite me in the butt. She still has my brother who is disabled living in her house and wants to move back.
She says it is too expensive AL. Her money is going to paying her bills and house. He pays his share and takes care of house. Any advice. Worried she will regress with health and end up back in hospital if she gets upset.

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Joyce, you are not responsible unless you goof up and fail to pay the bills in the proper order. That's where an attorney is very helpful.
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Which is better to get where you are not responsible for a parents bills after death a POA or a guardianship?
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Just because you have her POA doesn't mean she can't act on her own behalf. Unless she's been adjudicated incompetent, she can still act. Your having her POA doesn't stop her.

You might pay the ALF yourself (so you're sure it's paid) and let her take care of her other bills. Once you've relented on that, she may just get tired of it. Ask her to give it a few months; if she continues fighting you, and if her doctors say she CAN go home, then you've no right to stop her, in my opinion.

I know exactly where you're coming from, by the way. But if she won't cooperate? You're asking for trouble.
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i dont think poa should have one speck of authority unless the elder can be deemed incompetant by a judge . its just perversely wrong for a dull eyed son or daughter to be telling an elder whats best for them .
im living that sh*t right now with my aunt . everybody knows whats best for her and theres not a d*mn one of em interested in what she wants .
its just wrong .
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George, if an Executor is hold back an inheritance, he really needs to see a good estate lawyer. If he dies, your POA is no good. Once a person dies their Executor takes over. If he has screwed up his finances, you as POA will have a h*ll of a time proving it is not YOUR fault. Walk away.
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A relative wants to make me his power of attorney. He is expecting a huge inheritance. However he has numerous health issues and thinks that the will executor is waiting for him to die so the inheritance won't be paid out. His partner is not very good with money and doesn't cope well with his health issues. They also have a few "hangers on" waiting to get their hands on his money. If he dies, or becomes more ill, he wants me to handle his affairs. I am not concerned about the organizational aspect of being a power of attorney, but I am worried that there could be negative ramifications if his inheritance is not paid out before he dies. Could I become liable for paying his outstanding debts, and would I be responsible for the care of his partner and children (out of my pocket)? I am happy to help, but not to absorb any costs. What is your advice? Many thanks.
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Retirees NewsBasket Retirees' News Basket a blog for seniors and retirees. A knowledge Network Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Power of attorney: It’s easily abused - Elizabeth O'Brien's Retire Well - MarketWatch Power of attorney: It’s easily abused - Elizabeth O'Brien's Retire Well - MarketWatch: It’s a standard part of estate planning. It’s also, according to experts on elder fraud, a license to steal. It’s the power of attorney, a legal instrument designed to give a trusted individual the authority to handle financial or health matters for the person creating it

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Different Types of Powers of Attorney?
Yes. Powers of attorney can differ depending on when you want the powers to begin and end and on how much responsibility you want to give your agent.

A conventional power of attorney begins when you sign it and continues until you become mentally incapacitated. But most people want someone to make decisions for them when they are unable to do so. If so, you have to say so in your document.

A durable power of attorney also begins when you sign it, but it stays in effect for your lifetime unless you cancel it. You must put specific words in the document stating that you want your agent's power to stay in effect even if you become incapacitated. If you want this feature, it's very important that you have these words in your document.

A springing power of attorney begins only when a specific event happens, such as when you become incapacitated. Your attorney must carefully draft a springing power of attorney to avoid any difficulty in determining exactly when the "springing" event has happened.

All powers of attorney come to an end at your death. Your agent will have no power to make any decisions after you die.

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A health care proxy is an instrument (or document) that allows a patient to appoint an agent to make health care decisions in the event that the primary individual is incapable of executing such decisions.[1] Once the document is drafted, the primary individual continues to be allowed to make health care decisions as long as they are still competent to do so.

Depending on the legal jurisdiction, health care proxies may or may not be mandatory. Regardless, they allow a patient's wishes to be followed even when he/she is incapable of communicating them. In many jurisdictions, a health care proxy is closely related to a "springing" health care power of attorney; with many practitioners using these two terms interchangeably.
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This is a common problem when becoming an a DPOA immediately when the principle is still considered competent to make decisions. I am my mother's DPOA. She wants to make all of her own decisions concerning her life, but would prefer me to take all the responsibilities that come with her decisions. No way! When it comes time for me to make decisions on her behalf due to her unable to make decisions, then I will take the responsibilities as her agent.
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You need to work with her doctors, your POA is active as long she is incapacitated. Her safest place is in the AL unless the doctor says she OK to manage on her own. Your disabled brother can be accommodated through social services in your county. Make sure her SS check goes directly to the ALF. The biggest pitfall is when the SS check is spent other bills, the POA can be sued for not paying the ALF first. Often this means the ALF gets all of it and the house bills go unpaid. Repeat: pay the ALF first, or husband is right.
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