My mother has been in home for 2 years and while she is pleasant, she is constantly referring to boyfriends, parties, and seems to see me as her sister. This is especially difficult for my father as well. It is becoming difficult to visit yet she may live for years. If it wasn't for my father's sake, I'm not sure I would continue to visit on a regular basis. Have I finally given up on mom? Should I?
Visits with her now "kill" me. I want her back so badly I actually think it would be great if we passed the same time. I don't know how I'll ever be happy. So I pray and believe some miracle will happen and she will snap out of it.
Hugs to you. I know how your heart must feel.
My father never had dementia, but it was difficult to visit him every day. I would go every other day and as time passed I tried to think of him as a person who was facing the end of his life. He wanted to know that his life had some meaning, I listened to the stories no matter how many times I heard them.
As we visited our parents, we felt our hearts were being ripped from our chest. We grieved every loss as it happened. It's not an easy road. In my case, I'm glad I kept going. I did have to "let go" of the image I had of my parents and see them as they are in the present moment. Which made the visits a little easier.