I have an 89 year old mother. My step father passed two years ago this October. She has had a hard time dealing with issues. I have been there for both of them on call anytime since I retired from the Army in 1995. She has previously complained that people are stealing her blind. She has me get rid of a lot of my step fathers outside items (he kept everything). She is constantly when she can’t find something asking me what I did with it. I was initially driving 86 miles round trip to help her find what she was looking for. In some instances when we find it she would say I brought it back or moved it which was not the case.
Recently she accused me of stealing her mop bucket filling it with tools and bringing it to my house while my sister took her to the doctor. That next day she found her mop bucket and called me and said thanks for bringing my mop bucket back last night. Of course I never took her mop bucket. She is constantly losing her keys. The last incident was about a can of beans her grandson recently sent to her. She called and said what did you do with the can of beans? I told her I didn’t take her beans she said yes you did your tracks are all around here. She was angry in both instances at me. She has accused me of ransacking her house and taking things. My youngest sister has talked her into going to the Doctor next Wednesday for her nerves. I do understand it is her cognitive abilities she is losing and it really isn’t directed at me. However with COVID I have tried to limit my contact and haven’t been to her house since Jun 26. Phone contact was everyday. After talking with some siblings, the youngest sister’s husband said she gave us those beans for a birthday party she attended. The youngest daughter told her that when she convinced her to go to the doctor. She called me and apologized but then attacked me over the mop bucket ransacking her home and says she has it on video which is untrue. My question with all of this going on and with three sisters in her immediate area, should I avoid any contact with her until after she gets medical treatment?
That is my major concern.
As with any person you visit you take precautions. Wear a mask and you try to avoid direct contact (I say try because it is difficult when dealing with family) if you do anticipate direct contact hand sanitizer before and after. And there are ways to hug so you are not more exposed to droplets.
The bigger question is...Is your Mom living alone? If so she probably should not be. She will need supervision 24/7/365. This is not a diagnosis that can be treated..it will not get better, she will not get better. She will decline. You should discuss with the rest of the family what the options are and what plans are doable.