Power of attorney questions.

So first, unless it can be found that you benefited financially somehow, knowingly or innocently, you shouldn’t be legally “responsible” for any financial misuse or needs of mom’s. That said it will be hard not to feel some responsibility for caring for her as you have already exhibited by taking her in and that is bound to include financially if she is denied or has to wait out a penalty for Medicaid. I am curious, how did you end up with mom moving in with you and how long a ago was that with what understanding between you, your brother and her doctors? Any chance the place she was in the last few years will take her back and work with you on the Medicaid? From what I understand it is very different when a facility the patient is already living in initiates the application and that way she would have a good, familiar placement and you wouldn’t have to bear the entire burden of care and paperwork. Should there be issues with the spending they would be addressed with your brother her primary POA who has been in charge of the purse strings. If that is no longer possible and it’s too late for you to say to your brother “I can’t have mom live with me and care for her without full disclosure access to her funds and the ability to get Medicaid for her, I simply can’t afford it financially or physically” put the responsibility back on him. Right now he s in the power position all around, even if he’s feeling stuck and didn’t plan all of this out, he has kind of dodged questions by officials and anyone other than you, he doesn’t have any legal responsibility for mom’s care because she’s living with you and he holds all the legal access to records and funds if there is anything left. My guess is he will let this ride as long as he can. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about your mom or doesn’t love both of you and it doesn’t mean he planned anything, it may have just gotten away from him but even if he used her funds for himself, knowing full well what he was doing and never intending to make good on it or take care of her getting into a legal or even family battle with him right now, accusing and demanding, isn’t going to help any of you right now especially you and your mother. If you play your cards right you might be able to find your way through this and get his help doing it but you do need to safeguard yourself as well so be firm but reasonable about what you can and can’t do in caring for your mom and be ready to follow through, if that means the next time she goes to the hospital telling them you can’t care for her at home and they end up choosing a placement for her, so be it. Remember you did not create this situation and you are doing everything in your power to make sure she, you all are in the best situation possible, if your brother (the primary POA of her choice) makes that impossible it’s beyond your control. If the state needs to step in because your brother is less than cooperative so be it but you don’t need to expend your energy making that happen or fighting him, if I were you I would only expend my energy on positive things that help the situation somehow now not being angry about the past (for now anyway). Not ideal but sounds like that’s where you are. Access all the free legal advice you can about how to move forward to provide care for your mom, enlist your brothers help and let the chips fall where they may.

Unfortunately there is no money left. Nothing. Over 100k gone in a year. Only some can be accounted for. Now, no where to turn and don’t know what to do.

Trying to help: Does he still have POA. You need an Elder Law Attorney at once. Go to court and ask for a temporary court appointed guardian for your mother so he doesn't manipulate anything else, and ask for the court to investigate his actions as POA and your Mother's fiduciary. Do this NOW this week.; you say you have some financial statements that are a mess. You may want to make a trip to your local police department with them; they may not be able to help but I believe that they can guide you someplace to GET help. You need this NOW.

You are NOT at bro's mercy. He is at the mercy of the U.S. government. They will figure it out and then what for him? Who knows, but he will have to answer some very hard questions. Then he will be held accountable. YOU are not helpless nor at his mercy.

We can only get two years of bank statements and they are crazy. Lots of withdrawals and money spent that couldn’t have been spent on mom.
My fear is now being stuck, after thinking All was set: POA, an assisted living Home (that he removed her from although he said she was kicked out. This did not happen. They attempted to work with him on applications for assistance but mentioned financial documents would be required , including the five year look back for Medicaid. He then just pulled her out)
Getting lots of excuses for why documents are not being sent.
Still have no access to her SS checks. He still controls those.
Not sure I want to take this on. But feel guilty.

Definitely see an elder law attorney. You need to know what your duties are. You need to know the possible repercussions of your Mom signing a new POA. And you need to know your Mom is mentally capable of assigning a new POA. Frankly I do not find being POA and being Trustee of Trust a whole lot of fun, and I am managing a quite simple one. I think I over-worry everything. If there has been a mess made with withdrawing and record keeping then you are volunteering to pick up a mess along with the hard work you are already doing and I worry for you. Do you speak with your brother? How are you aware there has been problems with his management? You two working TOGETHER and getting info TOGETHER would be SO much better. I hope you will update us.

Get a free consult with an elder law attorney. Call the Bar Association in your state, explain the problem, they have attorneys that will accept cases pro bono. Check law schools near you, possible that a student needs a project.

If mom enters the hospital for any reason, refuse to take her home. In spite of bro's suspected misdoings the hospital social worker will have to find mom appropriate care. It is ok for mom's care needs to be more than you can deal with and use that worth the social worker.