I am POA for my mom, and we asked her friend to be a successor agent in case something happens to me. Now I am feeling a bit concerned about the idea of bringing a third person into this legally. Could she ever get control of mom's money or somehow step in and make decisions in her own interest and not mom's?
She doesn't seem like she would, but I can't seem to shake this uneasiness about having someone else legally involved. Even though on its surface it seems like a good idea to cover the bases and have one appointed. There are not a lot of other options for people to appoint and it's less a question about her and more of a general question. Thx
For myself now as a senior, I have two older siblings and one sibling's grown child, all living out of state, as agents in my limited family as legal POA. I live isolated without local relatives and cannot relocate with my limited income and resources until further notice. If I run out of help in the future, I'm not sure how I will be legally covered for my wishes, causing concern. I've thought of asking one of my agent siblings and my own primary care doctor for advice about this future's possible situation for me. Eldercare attorney is a choice but cannot afford to hire one without family contributions.
I am of sound mind now, but I have limited interaction abilities to make new relationships due to my disability.
That should save any concerns about a third party being involved, because a bank would be in a world of trouble if they messed around with someone's finances.
I recommend anyone who's getting older to use a smaller community bank where they actually get to know you vs. B of A, Chase, or Wells Fargo where you're invisible. My parents were very comfortable with their banker, and they worked seamlessly with me when I became POA because I'd gone in and met them with my dad before he died.
Now that I understand the rules of POA I am less worry.
My gut feeling keeps getting stronger even though it makes no sense outwardly and I don't know why.
The POA was wide as it was intended for me to be able to handle everything and make decisions should she be unable to do so, say in case of a stroke or something.
If it is not written as successor and is joint or co-POA your concerns are valid.
Here's the thing with POA, you need to have confidence and trust in the person or you need someone else. Because it does convey life changing powers to the person named.
I trust my gut. If I can't shake a feeling, I believe that is a reason to listen and act.
Perhaps reviewing the document with a certified elder law attorney and sharing your concerns can help create a document that protects mom as much as possible.
Yes, there are dirty attorneys out there, so you do your due diligence and put protections in place. Here's the deal when using professionals, they cheat and they not only get prosecuted but, they lose their licensing and their insurance gets to pay a nice settlement. They have more to lose then a friend.
I just don't like the idea of bringing someone else (meaning her friend) into the situation legally although it was my offhand suggestion that we do so and mom liked the idea. I just can't shake this uneasiness. IMO she's already vulnerable enough that someone could take advantage of her trusting nature so I want to protect her from that. There's nothing her friend has said or done to warrant my concern -she's been a good friend to her. Might have this concern with anyone. I do want to do what's in her best interest.
We live together, I am not in another state or something. So everything she needs, I help her with.
Her friend seems nice, but everyone seems nice until they're not.
If you are concerned about self dealing, you require an annual audit by a 3rd party.
Our successor agent is an attorney and it is written into our POA when and how they become active POA and that a disinterested 3rd party does an annual audit. We even have what type of music we would want for music therapy in our directives.
You just never know what tomorrow holds, so laying it out in black and white is a true gift for everyone involved.