My father is 88 yrs old. He has alwasy resisted showering, but most recently doesn't want to change his clothes. Also, he refuses to remove his socks at night, therefore his feet are infected. He also refuses to go to a foot Dr.
He is not depressed, and health is okay, not great. He has a caregiver that cooks for him. When you ask him to take a shower, he says no. If you tell him dinner is ready, he will wait at least 1/2 hour before he comes to the table.
I understand its a power struggle, but how do I handle getting him to do what he needs to do, at the time requested?
What works for me, as a caregiver for my husband of 57 years, is to step back and walk away and give him a few minutes. When I return he has usually forgotten any disagreements and I take a new approach and it works. My LO is very frightened by his not being able to understand what is happening to him or even where he is and he needs lots of reassurance and love and patience.
The toe nail cutting is another real problem for us. He refuses to allow anyone else to touch his feet, including the professional, but winces and jumps when I cut the nails. His big toe nails have grown so thick that our best clippers will not penetrate them. I am going to try soaking his feet first to soften them.
Good luck in the patience department! pvrwilson