I know I have to arrange for two prepaid funerals as per the elder care attorney's advice. I have decided to speak to a rabbi first, one that the executive director of my parents' assisted living facility, recommended to me. I have still not heard from this rabbi, and I am encouraged that he will help/guide me but the very idea of funeral planning makes me very anxious and agitated. It is really to much for me, but I can't ask my brother because he is Chassidic and I am not. He is also oblivious about everything I have ever asked him to do.
Re: funeral planning. After mom dying suddenly, 6 weeks after taking a new job and moving to this town to look after her. I found writing her obituary very positive.
Dad, who we knew was dying from a brain tumour, went very slowly. I laboured lovingly over his eulogy and obituary. I looked back at the great memories, how terrific an adoptive father he was, and lauded his life. It reminded me of the cycle of life. I wish I had prepared and prepaid his funeral arrangements. It would have simplified things.