I have to pay bills for husband and keep his medication ordered. I am his rep payee to manage the S.S. but I guess medicare has new rules about who can order. I have tried to explain how much easier it would be to at least be his medical POA but he feels I will have to much control over his life that way. He has no idea what medication he takes or what it is for. How does one explain to someone who no longer has very good reasoning abilities? My daughter has tried to help also, but he won't budge. We have to live in separate locations because his anger issues and I am really frustrated at trying to help keep things paid and him safe.
I find this procedure pretty dumb myself. I can't imagine what problems it is really preventing. I had POA for my husband, but still when I made a call on his behalf or took a call for him, I would often be asked to put him on the phone so he could confirm it was OK to talk to me. I asked one of them once how they knew it wasn't my boyfriend or my brother who I put on the phone to give consent. She laughed and said of course she couldn't know that, but she was just doing the CYA step as directed.
It is kind of you to continue to care for him. I am so sorry the new rules are putting obstacles in your way! When you work this out, would you mind coming back and telling us about it? We learn from each other!