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It is questionable if my mom would understand and be able to sign an agreement of this nature at this point in time. She's been living with my sister (10 months) who is her VA fiduciary. The fiduciary rep told us it is important to have mom pay rent and to use the money for her care, but never mentioned a contract agreement for care. We do have caregivers and sis does pay herself (minimal) to help with expenses since she only works part-time. Thoughts?
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You need to be careful with this if you have siblings that will give you grief over a dollar. I do not understand why everyone seems to think taking a little to help pay for bills and added food and other expenses are so terrible. I was brought up to pay my way and my beautiful Mom believed this and would have wanted to pay her way as well. Some make you feel like you are a bad person if you ask for a little help. If you really need it talk to someone first don't get into trouble this can be real risky if you don't keep great records. I paid my Mother rent at seventeen when I had a job because that's the way she brought me up She didn't have to ask I just knew I was to do it. If she could have spoken for herself she would have wanted to pay her way but siblings so greedy didn't want a dime of her money spent for anything not hair, not a sitter, not an ice cream cone, mom loved those. They wanted an itemized account of every penny, I couldn't do this so therefore I choose to pay most out of my own pocket knowing I wouldn't get help, and most importantly I wanted to spend time with my Mom not doing paperwork.So I am done venting just Be Careful and keep good records. Make sure funeral expenses are paid for first, flowers , marker and anything else that they may want at that time. These want effect anything if a nursing home ever comes into the picture.
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Those of you who feel like you would never charge your parents to house, feed, and clothe them must be saints and quite financially secure, I suppose. Maybe your parents were paragons of virtue and support. I wish, just for a moment, you might stop to consider that some parents may have been negligent, careless, or downright abusive. Why in Hades should anyone be obligated to care for someone who never had their best interests in mind...to give up their own time, space, freedom, and livelihood for someone who in no way deserves it?
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You know, it is hard enough to care for a loved one at home without also bearing the entire financial burden. I don't see anything wrong with a parent giving the caregiver money to help with the prescriptions, doctors, care, food, etc. It's too much. But as other people have said, you have to keep excellent documents keeping track of every penny.
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What if they're already paying for their own prescriptions, doctors, etc? and they're getting food from the senior center, except that the person who's evidently set up the VA account does bring their supper every night. Is that enough to be considered their caregiver?
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Consult an estate attorney.
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