My brother is 49 and still living at home. He has no job, no drivers license and not much incentive to do anything to get out on his own. Currently the majority of my parents limited income goes to support him, (phone, food, clothes, etc). The original arrangement to him living at home was that he was to cook, clean house and help take care of mom and take some of the care giving burden off my dad. My mom has dementia and recently diagnosed with end stage renal disease. My father complains about the costly meds and other costs but is not willing to do anything about the elephant in the room. My other siblings are upset about the lack of care and support from my brother but don't know what to do. Dad has stated that he fears my brother winding up in a homeless shelter should anything happen to them. We're more concerned with our mothers health and our dads health as well, as he now suffers from depression. Dad is 79 and mom is 74. Are there any legal options we (the siblings) have here?
Also wanted to say, I got a great humorous kickstart for my day with the thought of the elephant police...hahahahaha !!!
did he perhaps WORK THEN LOSE his job during this lousy economy
the older they get the LESS THEY help emotionally
BUT MEN aren't built that way
as A CHILD who has been treated very unfairly in the caretaking situation
more details ABOUT WHY YOU WANT to get him out of the house
some stranger to take over THE HELP HE maybe providing
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
PLEASE LET CALMER HEADS PREVAIL!
At 49, has brother ALWAYS lived at the family home since he perhaps finished college? Or did he perhaps working lose his job during this lousy economy? Did he move BACK to do the needed care taking you speak of? If so, how long ago?
If any of this rings true, you should be thinking about care taker burnout. Even with dad helping, even if Dad is competent, the older they get the last day help emotionally. Also, in this economy, at 49, it's getting harder and harder to find a job except flipping burgers at McDonalds or a store greeter at Walmart. How could your brother do that and come home to care take also. I know its what women have been doing for years (see book The Second Shift, decades old) Batman aren't built that way.
If my mother had gotten sick instead of my father, I don't know what we would have done. I helped my mom take care of my dad but if it had been the other way around, my dad would have "been there" but he wouldn't have known what to do and I've been doing it all myself.
How about starting with a family roundtable discussion with everyone present except maybe Mom. As H I'll who's been treated very unfairly in the care taking situation with in my family, I'm a little sensitive to you wailing on your brother without you giving more details I did and how to get him out of the house. It may not be fair to remove him from the house just so you can doubly or triply pay some stranger to take over to help you may be providing.
Contacting the police about having your brother removed could be difficult for the family to do; but, it could be a little fear and get him more involved in your parents' care. It would also let him know you mean business!
Good luck!