am i reponsible for my dad .. have poa, am exec. and on his bank accnt. he has conned me out of a set of his car keys on the pretence to see what was in his car, this was a couple days ago, he didnt look, and still has the key. ive told him that as soon as he drives out of the driveway i will call the law, of course he retaliated in when he gets out he will kill me. i am so tired of all of his various abuses i wish he could drive..!!
he has a psyc test coming up in july his 3rd with the VA, can i get them to put him in a home? he doesnt want to go to one, can they over ride him?, i cant take much more. also dont think hes taken any of his 15 pills in a month. when i mention it he yells at me, "ive been taking pills for 15 yrs, yada yada"
help im tired !!
WHY are you still living the same day every day? You have a responsibility to see that Dad has shelter and food and is cared for, but you DON'T have a responsibility to do hands-on caregiving. It doesn't seem to be making either of you happy.
You may or may not be able to force Dad into a memory care center or assisted living, etc. but you certainly can remove yourself from the situation.
If his doctors suggested thinking about placement a year ago, why hasn't that taken place?
I am sorry for you, debbya, but I must admit that I don't understand why you continue to put up with this crap.
Second, talk to a social worker at your state Department of Health and Human Services and get them to assign someone to oversee his case. Explain to them that you are opting out but that he cannot tend himself. Perhaps it could be arranged for him to move to an assisted living community where they can have a caregiver who makes him take those pills and keep him from driving. He could still be independent in many ways but as the dementia worsens, there would be people looking after him. This would give you the chance to visit daily but not be there 24/7. He doesn't need a nursing home and please understand this from his point of view. His mind is loosening up on him. He has been independent and able to do anything he wants his whole life and is now in the position of a child. It's hard for them. The last thing he needs is to be shoved into a home like a kid going to day care but never getting to go home.
Hang in there, get out when you can, breath.
It seems you are doing all you can and he is fighting you every step of the way. This could not be a very pleasant life for him or you. If he were in a facility; other people would be in charge of his meds, socializing, etc. It is sad if they reach a point where they are agitated by dementia. Perhaps the psych doctor could recommend an anti-anxiety medication. But, he probably won't want to take that pill either. When they stop cooperating and appear to be miserable, even at your home; I think you might find a facility the best place to be.
When it comes right down to it, many elders are not happy wherever they are; so if you find a nice facility, it might work out better. My mother is in a facility; it has not been easy, but she has adjusted and gets quite a bit of attention there. More than she ever would at home. Blessings to you and hope things work out. Take care.