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This is a shot and I hesitate to mention it, but he is being a danger to himself. Maybe, just maybe you could go before a magistrate and present to them how your dad is being a danger to himself and thus have your dad involuntarily committed for a psychological evaluation followed by a plea for an emergency guardianship from the court.
I hope some others have better ideas, but his stubbornness has locked him into a path of self destruction financially for which I don't have any other ideas on how to intervene.
Thank you and no he has not been declared incompetent by anyone, he refuses to go to a doctor and/or hospital and has refused for over 20 years now. What would you suggest please.
Durable does need to be in the language of the POA. Having him sign a POA will not prevent him from doing the things that he is doing. As long as he has not been declared incompetent by a doctor and a judge in seeking guardianship for him.
Have you taken him to his doctor for an evaluation and told him privately what your dad is doing? Your dad sounds like he has dementia which would explain everything. It would be best, if his insurance does not require a referral by a ;primary care doctor, to take him to a gerontologist to be evaluated.
Hello, my father is 88 years old and the last few years we have been noticing a decline in his memory. He seems to repeat the same information daily sometimes more than twice daily as if he hasn't mentioned it. He has not been making the best financial choices leaving his accounts in the negative. He also has a acres of land that owns no mortgage just pays taxes, he is now fixated on borrowing money on the land and he's been going around asking complete strangers to do so promising to sign the land over to them but still having the mindset that he will still be the owner after said transactions are done. We have tried explaining that this is not how any of this works you cannot sign over and the property still be yours. He gets so outraged and angry and the next day he starts again. Will having him sign POA prevent him from making any decisions on the property and his accounts? If so, is there a specific from needed and I read on a previous post that the verbiage should contain the word "durable"?
Sir what I mean is could they force me to leave , I take care of Our Mother and they went and got power of attorney , if she were to pass away , could they make me leave ? Does that give them that much power ?
Can a Power Of Attorney take a person's property ? I ask because of a situation I see with my neibhor and I worry for they young son who cares for their Mother .
No. His name does not need to be on the account. He needs to read back over the POA document and ask a lawyer any related questions that he might have about it.
The only advantage to that is inheritance. I don't know why the people he is seeking assistance from can't see from the current account records that he's made no deposits because he has no income to deposit.
my brother in law is not working , but is taking care of my mother in law who is 87. he has power of attorney and his name on the checking account. that is where the problem is. he cant get assistance because they say he makes too much money because his name is on her account. does he need to have his name on the account to be power of attorney?
On one level, the answer to this question is clear: no, you don't become jointly liable with your parents for their expenses when you take on the responsibility of managing their funds and financial affairs.
But the question brings up some important things to remember once you do start acting for your parents. Under the power of attorney, you are acting as a fiduciary: a person responsible for other peoples' money. So, considering the question with that in mind, you have carefully fulfill your responsibilities.
Like the trustee at the bank who manages funds for the bank customers, you can be held liable for you parents' expenses if you transfer their funds to yourself or use their money in a way that goes against their interests.
It depends on how the POA is written up and you would need to ask the lawyer who writes it up according to how your mother wants it to be. Is your mother competent to have a lawyer to draw up a POA and to sign it?
Ok thank you, so if we are both the power of attorney, does it mean that neither one of us can do something without the permission of a sister. Or do we have to agree on any kind of decision
Rain, yes she can stop the nurses and doctors from telling you what is going on. That is what happened to me. I am like the next door neighbor's second cousin, twice removed. All I can do is observe and hope for the best.
@HolyCow What I'm asking in previous question is: My mother's bills are being mailed from the creditors to the nursing home in which they called the ambulance, made doctor appts, tests done, etc. & they are in turn sending them to me to reconcile. I need to know if I am responsible for calling/handling these bills? Nursing home says yes because I am her POA.
FORMYMUM: What type of bills did your Mom have that the creditors are harassing you over? I honestly like stuff like this because it is a bit of a challenge to get them off your back, especially when I know I am right!
If you have not signed on to anything like your Mom's credit card or anything, you really do not have anything to worry about. They cannot come and take YOUR money to pay her bills. What you need to do is find the bills or letters from the creditors and you need to sit down and type up some letters to each of them, you need to explain the situation. "My elderly mother who is 90 years old and suffers with dementia, has become so ill that she has been admitted to such and such facility." Go on to tell them that she has zero assets left, every cent of her social security is paid directly to the nursing home, etc. Tell them that you regret to inform them of this information but there will be no further payments made to them and it will be necessary for them to write off the balances owed. You can go on to tell them that any further communication from them will be considered to be harassment if you want.
Now after saying all that, IF your Mom has a bank account or a home you will probably have to pay them from the proceeds. In my sister in laws case she died and her house was not worth what she owed on it, so they let the house go back to the bank, they sent a copy of her death certificate, she was not married nor did she have children, so they just had to write off the balances on her credit cards.
Creditors can be heartless and ruthless so you may have to stand up to them. If there is nothing left, then there is nothing left, "you cannot squeeze blood from a turnip!"
My mother is in a nursing home til the end of time & I, her daugther, is her POA. All money received monthly ie Social Secuirty, pensions go directly to the nursing home. She has medicaid & is basically under the state's care. Is it my responsibilty to call the various ambulance, doctor offices, etc. & medicaid office to question and/or reconcile the balances on her bills or should this be the responsibility of the nursing home?
You are not responsible for your mother's bills that she took out under her name. If you are signed on to any of them, car, credit card, etc. then you can be held liable. Anonymous was correct in their information to you.
If the will states that you are the executor, then you are. What advantage is there in your not telling your half brother that you have POA and the will? What he is doing is not legal. I'm sorry that you two don't speak and that you live in a different state. He must be terribly intimidating. I think that you need a lawyer. I wish you well as you figure your way through all of this.
Yes. She left me a will giving me everything, money, car, furniture. My brother has all her money and her assets witch he took when he took her in. He and mom are in a different state. He is slowly going through her money. He doesn't know I have power of attorney and a will. He thinks his will is in power. Mine supersedes his, from when she last lived with me. I just don't want to be responsible for her debts, or funeral, when he is the one that has all her assets. I don't even know where her new bank account is or her belongings. The last bank account she had he took her to the bank, and she with drew all her money five month before putting her in the rest home. Thank you for answering my question, and the response to If I had a will? Does that make me the executor? PS my half brother and I don't speak. So it's hard to get any answers.
Your brother should not have all of her money. It should be being managed by you as the POA.
How is the nursing home being paid for?
When she passes, the money for her funeral should come from her estate if there is any money left by then. Does she have a will and who is the executor of the will? If there is not enough money left over to pay for her funeral, I would think it would be a shared responsibility between you and your brother.
My mother gave me poa when she lived with me. She was living with my half brother for three years before going in to a nursing home. He has all her money, and belongings. My question is when she passes who is responsible for her burial.
POA ends upon the person's death. Is your fiance the executor of his mother's estate? The bill should go to the executor of the estate and paid for from the estate. Neither the POA or executor are responsible for the person's bills. How much was the life insurance policy for that she signed over?
My fiance was named his mothers POA- she was in a nursing home a short time before she passed away. She incurred expenses from the nursing home and also from the funeral home- she had signed over a life insurance policy to the funeral home to pay for her funeral and they told my fiance all expenses were covered then later presented him with over a $1,000 bill. Is he responsible for it?
I don't believe that he can just check himself out. Where does his wife live? Do they own a house or trailer together? Has he gone to court for the divorce proceedings? Sorry to be nosy, but on what grounds is she divorcing him?
His wife and him are currently getting a divorce. They are fighting over who pays what. She is 59 and he is 77. He is just old and she want her freedom. i think she will have to pay all the expense but he is worried she will not do it and he hasn't the money to pay $151 a day. I know money is a big issue for him. I told him we will apply for medicaid asap when the divorce is final. But I can't have this constant calling me and telling me to get him out. He has even been to Satori Behavioral Health twice for comments and anger. He is frustrated and so am I. Can't he just check himself out if I won't do it?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I hope some others have better ideas, but his stubbornness has locked him into a path of self destruction financially for which I don't have any other ideas on how to intervene.
Have you taken him to his doctor for an evaluation and told him privately what your dad is doing? Your dad sounds like he has dementia which would explain everything. It would be best, if his insurance does not require a referral by a ;primary care doctor, to take him to a gerontologist to be evaluated.
Is this person a relative? How old is the "young son" (young son makes me think of a child, not an adult)?
More details will help posters provide answers.
No. His name does not need to be on the account. He needs to read back over the POA document and ask a lawyer any related questions that he might have about it.
The only advantage to that is inheritance. I don't know why the people he is seeking assistance from can't see from the current account records that he's made no deposits because he has no income to deposit.
But the question brings up some important things to remember once you do start acting for your parents. Under the power of attorney, you are acting as a fiduciary: a person responsible for other peoples' money. So, considering the question with that in mind, you have carefully fulfill your responsibilities.
Like the trustee at the bank who manages funds for the bank customers, you can be held liable for you parents' expenses if you transfer their funds to yourself or use their money in a way that goes against their interests.
Yes, your mother, if she is competent, can have you and your sister as POA, but I think in that case one of you would need to be the primary one.
What I'm asking in previous question is: My mother's bills are being mailed from the creditors to the nursing home in which they called the ambulance, made doctor appts, tests done, etc. & they are in turn sending them to me to reconcile. I need to know if I am responsible for calling/handling these bills? Nursing home says yes because I am her POA.
If you have not signed on to anything like your Mom's credit card or anything, you really do not have anything to worry about. They cannot come and take YOUR money to pay her bills. What you need to do is find the bills or letters from the creditors and you need to sit down and type up some letters to each of them, you need to explain the situation. "My elderly mother who is 90 years old and suffers with dementia, has become so ill that she has been admitted to such and such facility." Go on to tell them that she has zero assets left, every cent of her social security is paid directly to the nursing home, etc. Tell them that you regret to inform them of this information but there will be no further payments made to them and it will be necessary for them to write off the balances owed. You can go on to tell them that any further communication from them will be considered to be harassment if you want.
Now after saying all that, IF your Mom has a bank account or a home you will probably have to pay them from the proceeds. In my sister in laws case she died and her house was not worth what she owed on it, so they let the house go back to the bank, they sent a copy of her death certificate, she was not married nor did she have children, so they just had to write off the balances on her credit cards.
Creditors can be heartless and ruthless so you may have to stand up to them. If there is nothing left, then there is nothing left, "you cannot squeeze blood from a turnip!"
Anonymous was correct in their information to you.
How is the nursing home being paid for?
When she passes, the money for her funeral should come from her estate if there is any money left by then. Does she have a will and who is the executor of the will? If there is not enough money left over to pay for her funeral, I would think it would be a shared responsibility between you and your brother.