My life has been a living h*ll on Earth since 2010. My brother, age 56, had a massive heart attack & died right in front of my parents end of 2009. I live an hour away & was supposed to be down with them that day, but had to wait on my husband & his work. Mom already had Dementia (saw signs in 2006), so it cushioned her grief some, but my Dad went off the deep end
Mom handled ALL their affairs for 60+ yrs …Dad had NO clue how to even pay a bill, where their money & important documents were ... nothing. So I helped him , even to plan my brother's entire funeral. I even had some people they saw daily or weekly, tell me they had been worried about both of my parents as far back as 2004. I knew I needed to get Guardianship so Dad's hoarder sister could not just come & take what she could talk him out of, but I didn't have money for the expensive attorneys ($5000-7000 upfront!).
Dad had been already showing aggressive behavior towards me for several years. I could do NOTHING right...I clld him 'The Red Hulk' w/fierce temper & verbal abuse...not like him at all.
By the end of 2010 I started getting calls from ppl wanting to know what was wrong with him, for he was telling all who would listen that I was trying to take over their lives & take all their money ... ALL knowing that was NOT ME at all ... this cut a hole in my heart. I started calling my 2 maternal aunts & one uncle, even Dad's horrid sister also, to please, please help me with him, but most of the family was afraid of Dad & his wrath all their life & they didn't want him mad at them also, plus high fear of his not letting them see my Mom, their sister.
April 2012, after a long 3 yr wait, I finally got my Disability & 3 yrs back pay, so I could afford the attorneys....but made BIG mistake of telling the Aunts & Uncle I no longer needed their 'no help'. Within a week, my Uncle & my brother's dgtr (niece) became MY Dad’s POAs BEHIND MY BACK, but it got back to me within days. I was hurt & devastated, family doesn't do this to family, NOT MY close knit family. I knew, but no one would believe me, my Uncle also had Dementia like Mom...I was right again & he had to resign his POA, leaving now the last 3 yrs this niece who is spoiled & ignorant, raised 16 yrs by my parents, more than her own parents, hadn't a clue about the world, never lived away from home, nothing about income taxes, banking, bills .. she was 24 going on 12 then, now 28 still going on 12. Dad was very partial to her, but wouldn't see she wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, thought she was cute, innocent, quiet ....then she got PG out of wedlock, he was hurt, but didn't disown her (like he would have me). She has now been TOTALLY in charge of his affairs since 2013, convinced my Dad & his attorneys I am a bad dgtr & he hates me!! Couldn’t see or admit he was sick with Alzheimer's at all.
Now Dad passed on April 23 2016, buried yesterday. He was a WWII Navy Vet, so had honor guard of 2, taps, flag on coffin....and they presented his flag to my niece....NOT ME....the last hurt, the last slap, the last straw!! I see now she totally snowed him over and determined to take all away from me…. NOT what my parents wanted at all!!!
I am a strong, determined person, but with the Privacy Act/Elderly & Family Laws, I, the good, mature dgtr of age 67, have 2 college degrees, a 38 yr highly success Corporate career, lived a full life of responsibilities, took care of my parents for 16 yrs w/o anyone's help ... but now have had my hands handcuffed behind my back....unable to fight any of this!! I have NO clue if he disinherited me....I know absolutely nothing. It has been the worst nightmare ever.
After my bro died in 2009, they changed their wills where ALL was to go to me, house, possessions, everything & they were setting up a trust fund for niece to get when she was age 38. This obviously all changed by my Dad in 2012. Mom’s Dementia was so bad by then, she had NO clue what she was signing … one signature is NOT even hers … and couldn’t have stopped a thing!!! Mom passed away Sept 2014, Dad’s attorney sent me papers to sign over all in Mom’s will to Dad, I wouldn’t sign for months, then was FORCED by the judge to sign them. Don’t know, but sure niece schmoozed Dad and has ended up with ALL. She has even sold my parents’ house & taken or sold all their possessions … all of which were supposed to be MINE. HOW could my Dad have changed all that Mom and he did in 2010 like this?
IS THERE ANY WAY I CAN REVOKE ALL OF THIS THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE 2012?? PLEASE TELL ME I HAVE RIGHTS still as his only blood heir. Or, let me know to just give it all up … and get on with life.
In Aug 2015 I retained an attorney, to salvage what I could … but who ended up more interested in schmoozing the Magistrate judge to appoint him a judgeship than in me; met with my Dad’s attorneys, then after doing NOTHING for me, resigned from me and kept all my retainer!! I just gave up.
I also concur with others that it is too late to change the bad behavior of the past, but if you want to proceed, find out your rights as a biological child and try some relief that way. If you cannot find a sympathetic lawyer, you may have to let it go. Many unknowns, just reading your letter. Good luck getting some professional help.
When I sought legal help at the beginning of my husband's dementia, I warned the lawyer that he had good days and bad days and was currently experiencing paranoia. He might tell her I was stealing from him and he wouldn't sign anything. She said that was OK, if he was having a bad day she would simply try again another time. Well, he happened to be having a good day the first try. Yay! The lawyer had him explain what the POAs meant. He said, "It means Jeanne can make decisions for me if I can't do it myself." They went over the provisions of the will. Now, he may not have been able to tell some one the next day what he had signed, but at the time he demonstrated that he knew what he was doing.
Just having a diagnosis of dementia doesn't mean you lose your rights to control your own POA and will process. It depends on whether you are "competent" to understand what you are doing at the time you are doing it.
I can understand why you feel hurt, betrayed, and unjustly treated. And I am sorry about that for you.
But the claim that Dad "went behind your back" in assigning a POA raises red flags for me. Parents are not ever accountable to their children for decisions they make about their own care, their own affairs, their own finances. He had no obligation to consult you are even to tell you. I am very sorry if his decision was made under the influence of his dementia, and if it was made with undue influence from family that was geographically closer to him than you were, that may have been quite unjust. (And maybe you could have done something about that at the time.)
I don't know what you can do now. Who was POA is irrelevant now. Undue influence over the will might be something you can pursue, but an attorney would have to see some personal benefit to handling such a case. What was the value of the entire estate?
Dementia is a terrible, horrid, and heartbreaking disease. I am so sorry your life has been impacted by your parents' final illnesses.
What you describe is quite complex, with this relative and that relative... who has Power of Attorney and when it was changed, etc. You lived an hour away, and it sounded like your late brother was caring for your parents. Is that correct? Who took full time care of your parents after your brother had passed?
From what your wrote it sounded like your Dad had Alzheimer's which can start 15 to 20 years prior, thus the reason for how he was doing things. I am surprised an Attorney allowed your Dad to reassign the Power of Attorney to someone else, like his brother's daughter.
Please note that most couples will assign their worthy goods over to each other in death. Curious why your parents didn't do that. The way the Will was written, the surviving spouse would have nothing.
Who was the Executor of your Dad's estate? That person is the only one who can sell the house and the possessions inside, or the possession given to whomever names were in your Dad's Will.
And this doesn't make any sense at all:
"Dad’s attorney sent me papers to sign over all in Mom’s will to Dad, I wouldn’t sign for months, then was FORCED by the judge to sign them." There must be more to this situation - I find it hard to believe that a judge would force an heir to relinquish her inheritance. Did you file a grievance against the attorney and the judge?
I honestly think all the family friction is water over the dam; I don't know and can't tell whether your grievances justify the angst they've created, but I don't think you'll find peace in your life after losing your parents if you continue to feel abused by their decisions.
You may have had certain rights as an heir, but your parents also had the right to make decisions on disposition of their assets. You'd have to prove that either they were subject to undue influence, weren't competent to make their own decisions, and probably address other issues that would be hard to prove.
Overall, the questions I would ask of you are:
1. Why do you want to, or feel that you need to, do this?
2. Besides assets, what is there to be gained by continuing the friction, challenging the will, perhaps wasting money on attorneys who probably aren't going to be sympathetic unless they feel you have a valid case?
3. Really, what ARE you trying to accomplish?
sign over all in Mom’s will to Dad, I wouldn’t sign for months, then was FORCED by the judge to sign them.
So you think that your dad left everything to your niece? If he did the reason is irrelevant at this point since it happened 7 years ago.
You don't have the power to revoke the will. You would have to get an estate attorney and contest the will.