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I have POA over my parent's health care. My sister, however, is involved in speaking to the nursing home and obtaining information regarding our parent's health care. She has also been given and kept documents by the hospital and nursing home that should be in my hands. The problem is that my sister does not respect my opinion or my legal authority over our mother's health care. I do not want to call attention to this problem at the NH however I do not appreciate it when the nursing home calls her and not me to give information regarding health issues and I am concerned that my sister may be giving health care recomednations without conculting me. Could someone clarify my rights and the rights of my sibling on these issues? Thanks.

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Eric, have you contacted the nursing home yet and informed them that you are the medical POA?
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In addition to what I just wrote, the NH is going to talk over a patient's care, with whomever is visiting the patient, and whomever is present at the patient's care conferences. Eric if you want to be involved in your mom's care at this NH you ought to be visiting regularly and present at the care conferences. Perhaps they can skype you in to conferences? But it sounds like since they don't see you, they don't know you exisit. There may be 2 pages about you being the med-POA, buried underneath 3 or 4 inches of medical records in mom's chart. But unless you're a familiar face at the facility, you won't be getting daily or weekly updates. Better to be pro-active, in a ffriendly and supportive way, let them know you care about your mom by listening to them in 1, 000 small and seemingly unimportant daily updates, instead of waiting around for your sister to share. I'm sure your sister is doing the lion's share of caregiving so she simply does not have extra time to spend, repeating to you everything that happens with mom....she needs to go decompress and take care of herself. I hope you support your sister in many many ways small & unexpected for the sacrifices she makes.
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Unless I'm mistaken, a person can designate anyone they choose (such as a local caregiver) to be their contact person for a particular doctor's office, and that doesn't mean they are excluding the medical POA. The patient is just authorizing the local person as able to make appointments, call for RX refills, discuss a new symtpom, get test results, etc in order to provide appropriate day-to-day care for their client. The medical POA is also able to do these things IF th patient has designated the med-POA person as such on the doctor office's forms. Quite often, when bringing a senior to their appointment, they have at check-in, a bunch of forms on a clipboard for patient to fill out. One of these forms is for whom you want to have ability to discuss your presence at the clinic, make phone calls to tbis doctor for pt, etc. The doctor office does not ask, "who is your medical POA? " they ask, who do you want us to be able to discuss your care with, and they want someone local usually the person who accompany you to the appointment and is with you on daily basis. So there can be situaiton where a local caregiver is more up-to-date with the medical issues, than the med-POA.... and it is incumbent upon the med-POA to find out how things are going, and not just the care giver to inform the med- POA, unless its part of their job description to be providing that info, and they have enough time on the job to do that.
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Have you not informed the nursing home that you are the medical POA and not your sister? If not, I would try to find time on Monday when the office is open and show them that you, not your sister, is the medical POA. Tell them as the medical POA, you want them to call you.

Unless her name is also on the medical POA, then you are it, not her. Do you and your sister have a history of not getting along? Does she intimidate you?

Your the one authorized in the matters outlined in the medical POA, Take the authority that is yours and fulfill your responsibilities! That's why you are the medical POA!

BTW, who is the durable POA?
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Eric, you're in a bind if you don't want to "call attention at the nh" to the fact that they are ignoring your poa, but you also want to be annoyed at them that they are giving your sister information. At least where I live, several people are able to gave medical poa at the same time;my brothers and I all do. However, I'm the point person the nh contacts if there is a medical issue to discuss. Occasionally they call one if my other brothers, because he has financial poa and sometimes there is a blurred line what sort of issue it is. We share information.

Occasionally there has been a difference of opinion about treatment and we sit down and talk about it, ask the advice of the docs and nurse practioner who are around.

What sorts of issues are you and your sister struggling with, or is she just not sharing information? Day to day, there are not many "big choices" to make when the loved one is chronic and stable. I've never found it useful to think about "rights" in this situation, much more it's about responsibilities.
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