In terms of what the social worker tells our loved one about going home? My father has been at this nursing home for about a year (vascular dementia) and we visit him everyday. We have told him that it's temporary until he gets better, even though we know it won't happen. It seems like every 6 months he begs to go "Home" and the social worker tells him that he is allowed to go home for 7 days and it might be good for him. Unfortunately, we just don't have the means to take care of him at home. Can we tell the social worker not stir pot and recommend things that the family is not comfortable with or able to do?
Second, take a deep bow and a few gold stars out of the petty cash drawer. You and family are visiting every day. That certainly sends the message that you have not abandoned your loved one. If you pop in at different times of the day, that gives you a pretty good idea of what goes on there. No espionage equipment needed.
As for figuring out your "rights" -- do any of you have power of attorney and/or medical proxy? That would make a difference in what you could enforce as your role. I think it would be more helpful and constructive to focus on what power you have to make things as good as they can be for your loved one. You certainly can visit him. You can bring to the attention of the staff things you are concerned about or things you think should be changed. You are likely to be taken more seriously if you are firm but polite, and if you offer solutions as well as note problems.
Please come back and tell us what your investigation reveals.We learn from each other.
FWIW families have Naada, zero, No-rights. IMCO
WARN FAMILY MEMBERS
Confabulating and Confabulations Honest lies
In Alzimer's psychology, vascular dementia, confabulation (verb: confabulate) defined as the production of fabricated, distorted or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive.
Confabulations are major concern because confabulations are likely to be believed and acted upon.
It is difficult for everyone to accept a mind is damaged by Alzheimer's Disease. Not only is memory damaged their ability to process thoughts and conversations is impaired.
Confabulations are a major annoyance and can be dangerous- when we the take everything in a discussion at face value. Confabulating is very frequently observed in people with Alzheimer's information that is blatantly false yet are coherent, internally consistent, and appear relatively normal.
IMCO, if a person has demantia, Alzheimer's, assume they are confabulating and do not take what they say as face value. Validate You can not assume what they say because it is coherent, internally consistent, and appears relatively normal.
Now it just *could* be that he is being fobbed off, along the lines of 'let's go along with what he says he wants,' without there being any serious proposal for him to go anywhere. In that case, you still want to speak to the SW yourself and get it sorted - other platitudes are available to divert him, there's no need to feed his sporadic anxiety about wanting to go home.
What is most unlikely is that the SW is sincerely proposing that your father should come and stay at the family home for the odd week. It would be a staggeringly bad idea from anyone's point of view.