After more than 70 years of marriage, our Dad passed away, leaving Mom in a big house that he had built but that needed many, many repairs. We moved her into a really lovely assisted living facility close to us, and we have visited her every day since the move, bringing her to our house for family Thanksgiving and the day after to be with the great-grandkids, etc. Everything seemed good, but today, she said she wants to go "back to my house to live," and could not be talked out of this "funk". Is this normal? She has been there only a week. We are so frustrated, and now, of course, wondering if she'll ever adjust. Any advice will be greatly appreciated!
Take care,
Carol
When mom complains about being where she is, or says other totally nonsensical things (like; having been to the local beauty salon, "now I have the same haircut as all the other inmates--not true") we don't argue with her. I just play with my cell phone and look up distractedly and say "what?" if she's saying something totally stupid or untrue. Recently, when we visited the house to pick up some winter clothes, she said "you know, the house is an asset now, not where I live". Triumph! Give it time, you mom will get there.
At first she was very sad. She asked to be moved from the initial table where she was placed, and that helped a lot because she was seated with some lovely women who are lively and interesting conversationalists.
The staff showered her with attention, as the "new kid on the block", and they appreciated her because she was so pleasant with them. At first she poo-poohed the activities, saying, "I'm not a joiner." But they kept encouraging her and she is coming around.
Today we took out the furniture she'd been renting from the assisted living facility, and brought in some from our house. I think that was a big step towards her acceptance of this as her new home. We visit her often, but for short periods. After decades of living so far away from us, she enjoys seeing us, our kids and grandkids much more frequently.
I've read articles saying that it takes seniors about 6 months to fully accept living in a new place. Give it time, and reassure your mom that you are there for her, just a phone call away. Hugs are good. So is hand-holding and smiling and bringing joy into her life.
You can do it, and she's going to be OK!