I care for my mom, she wears pads, the problem is she wont get up to go the bathroom till it is just to late, then she pees on the floor all the way to the bathroom, some times I think she is so into the tv she wont get up and go, which she is capable of doing. I am the one who mops the floor every day. Then if she has diarrhea it is even worse for me... I tried to explain it is not sanitary or fair to expect me to mop and clean every day. but she refuses to wear pull ups, How do I transition her to pull ups.
When she visited us a few years back I bought the necessary undergarments and was cheerful yet left her no (no pun intended) "wiggle room". There was an element of things being just like it used to be with willful, little kids but I treated her with respect along with being firm. I told her that she 'had' to wear these pull ups in our home (she was with us for a month) and that I was sure she would feel better not having embarassing accidents. After we got her to go along with it, I supported the idea telling her that I knew she must be feeling better and more comfortable. She agreed and voiced her concern about the cost. She also had asked me when she arrived to "tell her when I stink". Her sense of smell is totally gone, which is not uncommon for very old folks, so she couldn't tell that she smelled bad! I just said "I love you and I won't ever tell you that. So we are going to get you a bath every day and help you keep clean and it won't be an issue". My husband and I put on our swimsuits daily, he held her while I undressed her and bathed her. We were careful to respect her and not offend her dignity and often that was with a sense of humor. I tried to care for her as I would want to be cared for and she responded.
I like above's idea about the doctor saying it has to happen. There is an element of rebellious childlike behavior here, so that has to be dealt with along with showing respect due our elders. It is a fine line we walk!