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Yes. Stop being the "go to" caregiver, and start caring for yourself. You have neglected yourself for far too long, and you can see where that has gotten you, so now it's time to take your life back, and start enjoying life again. As you are all to aware, life is short and none of us are getting any younger.
It's time to set some long overdue boundaries with mom, and just let her know that you cannot and will not continue to enable her in her denial that she is "managing" on her own. The only reason she is managing is because you are the one managing everything. It's time to step back and let her hire some outside help(with her money)to come in, and assist her, as you just can't do it anymore. Enough is enough. It's now your time!!!
So make an appt. to get a manicure and pedicure, then a haircut, and like daughter1930 suggested, buy yourself a new outfit, and go out on a nice date with your hubby. And after that, make sure you doing something just for you every week. You will then start to see your old self reappear, and find the joy in life again. Only you can make the necessary changes, so why not start today? May God bless you and keep you.
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It’s definitely time to reclaim your life, we only get the one and spending it worn out and unhappy is such a waste. Please back off from your mom. She manages, so leave her to it. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means it’s time for self care. Her situation will decline and if you’re exhausted you’ll be less prepared. I hope you’ll book a hair salon appointment, buy somethings new to wear, and know it’s never a bad idea to talk with a therapist. Plan something nice to do with your husband, you both deserve it
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Your mother isn't managing in her own home. You're doing all the work so she can 'manage'. She likely doesn't get that and thinks she's doing just fine in her home.

This is more than you (or anyone!) can do alone. You're sacrificing yourself to a woman who shoved you out the door the second it was legal to do so. She doesn't sound like she was a loving mom, but she expects you, her daughter, to literally lay down your life for her. You've sacrificed yourself for dad and sisters. Now it's you who needs help, and does Mom care if you get it? Nope. Does she care if looking after her literally kills you? Nope.

I may be wrong, but it sounds like you've accepted this role of taking care of everyone. You've been the scapegoat. It's one thing to offer your help, but it's another to be the automatic go-to. It has to stop. Take your life back!

Others on here are more knowledgeable about how to get Mom some outside help or assisted living.
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You are a special person for being willing to provide care to so many. Now it is time to care for your self and your marriage. Your mom is of sound mind, so you can't make her do anything until she is unable to express her wishes. You can choose to have APS check on her and even secure guardianship if your mother has not assigned you as her PoA or created a Living Will. Your own family comes first. Your husband is a saint for enduring something he certainly didn't sign up for. I think he needs to be rewarded by having his wife back 100% 24/7/365 from this day forward.
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