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Yet I feel like I’m still looking for her....💔. How do I let go? I don’t wanna let go...

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Losing a loved one is the most distressing experience we face. There is always a period of grief, sorrow and pain. Over time, and with purpose on your part, the pain of grief can heal. Are you married? Do you have children? If so, you focus on them. If not, understand your mom is gone... you're not. You have a life to live. If you don't want to let go, you will have a very sad life. I doubt that's what you want. If you want to resolve your grief, you have to CHOOSE to do that. That doesn't mean forgetting her, you'll never do that. It does mean to accept her death, to seek support, and even to talk about your loss to trusted friends and family, and maybe clergy. It means to acknowlege your pain, grief and sorrow. It's OK, it's normal. Two months after my wife's death, I started speaking to groups about my wife and my experience with AD from onset to death. It proved very therapeutic and cathartic for me. Recognize that this is YOUR grief. You can overcome it but it takes work... action on your part. Time won't heal all, it takes work on your part. If your grief doesn't lessen in a year or so, it will become a disorder known as "complicated grief". So you've got to let go and resume your life.

There are many books on grief, grief support groups and workshops, pastoral counseling and professional bereavement counseling. You might try documenting (journaling) your happy times. Everyone grieves differently and recovers differently. So I wish you well.
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As long as they live in your heart they are never truly gone.

Remember the good times and share the joy with others that your parents gave you. It is a gift that is easy to keep giving.

You were truly blessed to have parents that brought so much to your life. Honor them by giving it to others, this will help you find your way forward.

May God grant you grieving mercies and strength during this difficult time.
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Thank u. She was “my everything my forever...n since my dad passed, MY FAVORITE THAT I LOVE MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD!
wow. That’s something I’d tell her all the time n to realize, it’s something I haven’t gotten to share or say...n remember.
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haileybug Sep 2020
My heart hurts for you. May God wrap his loving arms around you, to comfort and strengthen.
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I’m so sorry, you’ve joined the club so few want to be a part of, grief comes in waves and just takes time. I’m still dealing with it and will be for I have no idea how long. I wish you peace and comfort
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I understand. I so loved my brother. It has been hard to let go, yet the more I do the more I know he will be with me to the day I die.
Some things that help me. I have a diary I decorate with pictures and collages of him. I write him "letters" in this much like the letters we exchanged in real life when we didn't live in the same city.....long letters of things to share with him; things I thought about as regards him. Sometimes as simple as the purple color in the mountains surrounding him in certain lights; things we shared.
As Joan Didion said (he loved her), the problem is they don't answer back.
It seriously has helped. He died in May. I recently wrote him "I don't know if you are moving along, away from me, or if I am letting you go, but I am not having to write you so often, and I feel a peace".
There will be things you will find that will help you. Things that work for YOU. I love how you wrote this; it is quite beautiful.
Hugs to you.
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