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My dad is 91 and lives in assisted living. He has an indwelling catheter and developed a UTI which landed him in the hospital. The first day or two looked pretty grim, but apparently he is improving some. Several times hospice or palliative care has been mentioned by the nurses and doctors. I don't know what to do. His quality of life is pretty poor (at least I think so). He has really bad arthritis in his knees, so he can barely walk. He uses an electric scooter most of the time because he can use it indoors in the apartment. But after laying in the hospital for a week I'm not sure if he'll even have the strength to do that. He is forgetful at times, but not to the point where he's been diagnosed with dementia. It's pretty much just age related forgetfulness. I have not approached the subject of hospice with him because all we have is the phone, and he is very hard of hearing, so he wouldn't understand what I was saying anyway. He is declining, I know that, but he is not "terminal", so I don't know if hospice is even choice. How do you begin to make a decision like this? I feel like I would just be giving up and sentencing him..........

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Sharon, hospice is not a death sentence. You would not be giving up on him and, in fact, you would be insuring his best care. If the nurses are suggesting hospice or palliative care I would take them up on that. Have him screened for palliative or hospice care and let the team decide for you. Hospice care does not imply only six months to live. Some people are on hospice or palliative care for a couple of years. My wife was on hospice for 15 months. Don't mention hospice to him because he wont know the difference in the care he's receiving. In fact the hospice nurse won't even mention it to him. It's just another level of care. Hospice is paid for by Medicare so it won't cost you anything.
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It certainly can't hurt, asking hospice for an evaluation. If they don't think he qualifies yet, they will let you know. Just know that if and when he goes under hospice care that all extreme measures of medical care will be non existent, as hospice's role is to only keep the patient pain free and comfortable, so you must be comfortable with that.

My husband was under hospice care in our home for 22 months, so as you can see, there really is no time limit with them as long as you continue to qualify. Best wishes.
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Yes, get him a hospice consult. Are you his proxy, surrogate or medical DPOA? If so, make him a DNR so his suffering will not be prolonged and he will have a natural death.
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If hospice is being mentioned by the doctors, then it is a good idea for them to talk to HIM about that.

Hospice is no longer just for folks who are terminal in the sense of having end stage cancer.

We agreed to palliative care when it was clear that every trip to the hospital set my mom back farther and farther. From there on in, no more ER trips, no more being in the hospital for a week getting more and more deconditioned. The NH treated what they could and what they couldn't, we all left in God and Nature's hands.
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