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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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No, you can't FORCE a 98 year old to take a shower. My 96 year old mother would never take a shower or a bath. I had to use disposable washclothes and shampoo caps on her. She wouldn't let me do it very often either.
It's very common with dementia/ALZ (as said in your profile) for an elder to not want to bathe. Watch some Teepa Snow videos on the hand-under-hand technique she's developed to ease the elder's mind and make her feel more relaxed about taking a shower. She also has other videos about bathing in general.
Many elders suffering from dementia have fears about water. My mother felt the shower floor was 'slippery'; it wasn't, but SHE felt it WAS. Showers were a struggle & the staff at her Memory Care AL were having trouble with her anxiety. One day, I think God came to me and said "Water Shoes". It was like a light went off in my mind. When I got home, I ordered a pair on Amazon and she's never had an issue since. The hand held shower head recommended to you is another good idea. If you can figure out WHY your mother doesn't want to shower, that might help you figure out a solution.
Of course you should never 'force' her to bathe; I can't even imagine what that would look like, and what the next time would devolve into! The more you fight & argue with a dementia sufferer, the worse the outcome will be. The goal is to make the person feel safe enough to do what you ask her to............and that's where Teepa Snow comes in very handy with her talks & tips. She's also quite funny & charming to watch.
Wishing you the best of luck learning all about your mother's condition and how best to help her AND yourself deal with it.
Agree with funkygrandma59. We couldn't get my very elderly aunt into the shower but the aid could. Agree with all her other suggestions, also if you can install a hand-held shower attachment with controls on the handle, not the wall, this will help at shower time.
Often times when family members are having a hard time getting a loved one to shower, it's best to hire an aide to come in to assist, as they are more likely to listen to them, than the family member.
Also make sure that she has grab bars, a shower seat, a slip resistant matt(in the shower), and lots of help getting in and out, as often times they are just too afraid that they're going to fall and that's why they resist getting in.
And last but not least, if your mom at 98 is just not all that mobile any more, you can just give her a sponge bath in the bed. My husband who was completely bedridden for the last 22 months of his life, was bathed by the hospice aides twice a week in his hospital bed. You can also use the extra large body wipes as well, for in between baths. Best wishes.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Many elders suffering from dementia have fears about water. My mother felt the shower floor was 'slippery'; it wasn't, but SHE felt it WAS. Showers were a struggle & the staff at her Memory Care AL were having trouble with her anxiety. One day, I think God came to me and said "Water Shoes". It was like a light went off in my mind. When I got home, I ordered a pair on Amazon and she's never had an issue since. The hand held shower head recommended to you is another good idea. If you can figure out WHY your mother doesn't want to shower, that might help you figure out a solution.
Of course you should never 'force' her to bathe; I can't even imagine what that would look like, and what the next time would devolve into! The more you fight & argue with a dementia sufferer, the worse the outcome will be. The goal is to make the person feel safe enough to do what you ask her to............and that's where Teepa Snow comes in very handy with her talks & tips. She's also quite funny & charming to watch.
Wishing you the best of luck learning all about your mother's condition and how best to help her AND yourself deal with it.
Also make sure that she has grab bars, a shower seat, a slip resistant matt(in the shower), and lots of help getting in and out, as often times they are just too afraid that they're going to fall and that's why they resist getting in.
And last but not least, if your mom at 98 is just not all that mobile any more, you can just give her a sponge bath in the bed. My husband who was completely bedridden for the last 22 months of his life, was bathed by the hospice aides twice a week in his hospital bed. You can also use the extra large body wipes as well, for in between baths. Best wishes.