I'm a part-time aide in a special ed elementary school. I'm gone about 4 hours and before the pandemic hit, I hired an aide for my mom.. My school was remote March- June , then summer came, and in Sept, I took 3 months unpaid leave. I have about a month left for my leave to end.
I'm not keen on hiring an aide for now - I guess I will have to insist on a covid test every week for them. We have a created a bubble at home by not stepping out and still get groceries delivered.
So it is hard for me to imagine an aide coming daily into this bubble. But Mom will get all anxious when there's no one to reassure her that "Wren will be back soon from school". She will most likely just sit in the dark in her room since she cannot operate a laptop or ipad etc. She could read magazines that I can leave for her. My family will be in their rooms with Zoom meeting/online classes and will not check on her.
My head says to quit but my heart is breaking. The job is my only lifeline to sanity even in normal times. We don't have an active social life. I love my students, colleagues and my salary contributes to mom's expenses (health insurance mainly).
If I quit, who knows if I will be hired back when covid is over??? Even if I am hired back, I will lose all seniority and the school follows last hire-first fired policy when budgets are cut. I might get assigned to a nasty teacher (have heard horror stories) .
I'm getting a headache even as I'm typing this-I cannot go on sitting at home with mom for the next year without my school job. If mom catches covid because I worked in my job, I will put it down to bad luck. OTOH, I will also feel guilty that I did not do everything in my power to keep her safe.
I cannot work remote since my school is open & staff is back at work.
It is gangrene that is listed on her death certificate, although there is some debate as to whether my aunt clipping her toenails is what led to the infection in her foot).
My point is that COVID is here to stay. The lock downs earlier this year prevented the hospitals in some cities from getting overwhelmed with cases (I live in NYC and saw this first hand in my neighborhood).
Elders are vulnerable to infection and unless they are totally isolated, they are going to catch what is out there. I would work, hire aides and remain cautious and do lots of masking and handwashing at home.
Such a hard decision.
I would keep my job and ask any aide's that come into your home to wear a mask. That's about all you can do.
Good luck!
https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/stop-wiping-down-groceries-and-focus-on-bigger-risks-say-experts-on-coronavirus-transmission/ar-BB1aiqpp?ocid=msedgntp
Can you contain these risks to your satisfaction? If so, continue to work. Not only will it contribute to self esteem, it'll be a diversion from caregiving and balance out your day. (something we all need).
Are you eligible for FMLA?
Personally, I think caregivers and those for whom they care need some space from each other, and that diversion contributes to better relationships...generally, and over all, and I'm excluding those people whose situations either require 24/7 care or are very demanding and want 24/7 care even if it's not necessary.
One thing I would do is spend the first half hour or hour after work with your mother, telling her what your students did, bringing her into your work environment so that she doesn't feel left out. It helps create bonds that also contribute to tolerance of time apart...at least in my experience.
I don't advocate putting your entire life on hold in order to hide from this virus, but that's a decision you need to make for yourself. The chances your mother will die from the virus are relatively small, even if they are greater than for a younger person. However, she also could die from the flu, or a fall, or any number of things. You can't avoid every "what if."
What you should do is take every reasonable precaution you can. Leave your shoes in the garage when you come home. Put your clothes straight into the laundry and shower right away. Do the obvious hand washing and wash your masks every day. Don't go to work if you feel sick or have a fever or cough. Require the same of any aide you hire.
I'm going to be working the election as a poll worker for seven days starting next week, and these are the things I'll be doing. I'll do everything I can to avoid catching Covid, but I'm not going to keep my life on hold either.