Dad vs dog?
So, my dad and stepmom have had a King Charles spaniel since she was a puppy; the decision was initially stepmom's, but dad's grown fond of the dog as well. Fast forward, and dad was moved into assisted living in March (Parkinson's, depression, some short-term cognitive issues, and now blood clots). Stepmom visits every day, and seems sorta/kinda inclined to move in; although she is being treated for cancer, she is in better shape physically and mentally than my dad. One of the obstacles to her moving in is the dog--it's not a dog friendly place. Around the same time dad went into the hospital for his blood clots in Feb., the dog--which has been having health problems for the past couple of years--had seizure. Part of me says I know they love the dog, but I think stepmom's absence at the AL facility is really rough on him--and some family members seem to think stepmom is sacrificing dad for the dog. With the dog as old as it is (and with the health problems), I'm not sure how feasible it is for someone else to take the dog on while stepmom moves in with dad. Thoughts? Is this a rock and a hard place?
It sounds like Mom lives alone now since your Dad is now in Assisted Living, is that correct? If yes, then the dog probably makes her feel safe since your Dad isn't in the home. And since the dog can visit your Dad, that makes it the best of both worlds for now.
Yes, there are retirement places that accept pets, such as Sunrise. My Dad is in Sunrise which has a elderly "house" dog. Prior to that there was a "house" cat. There are residents with their own dogs, but what I have seen the dogs are small, so maybe there is a weight limit. The dogs I have seen are very well behave, there is a bossy dachshund.
1. I believe the dog is 11 or 12. Stepmom indicated she didn't think the dog had much longer--but, then again, she herself seems to be outliving her forecast from a few years back.
2. None of the family is nearby--the closest is my stepbrother, a 6hr drive
3. She can bring the dog to the ALF--they just can't live there with her.
4. Not a huge number of living choices on Cape Cod (where they live); this particular one was one of several they visited and the only one that seemed to generate some enthusiasm. It should also be noted this place is cigar-friendly (as dad does enjoy his occasional cigar).
Some thoughts:
1. There are some rescue groups that will take older dogs, and foster them with various people who've volunteered to do this, while looking for a home for the dog. You might contact a rescue group specifically for the KC spaniel; sometimes groups that focus only on a specific breed are more flexible and dedicated to finding a home.
I'm assuming that none of the family want to take the dog?
2. Have you discussed with the vet what the dog's chances are? Are further seizures likely? What is the dog's projected longevity?
3. Are there any critter sitters in the area who will take the dog for a week or more, or even for daily walks? That would allow your stepmother to have someone to care for the dog when she visited. But it doesn't address the issue of full time care.
4. This is a much more drastic option - find an AL place that is animal friendly. Sunrise Assisted living in our area had a resident pet dog, although I don't know if other residents were permitted to have live-in animals.
Sometime ago someone posted about a parent living in a facility with animals; other residents were complaining, walking the dog became problematic because the parent wasn't able to, etc. So apparently there are some places that do allow pets.
However, to move your father as he's becoming acclimated would be very unsettling.
Hopefully others will have some good suggestions.