This is reality. Last week I considered myself a healthy, busy & active 65 year old.
I help to manage care & actively participate in care for mom 85 & aunt 93. Both have dementia, which added another layer of stress for me.
This week on Monday I had a stroke!
Out of no where!!!! Three days in the hospital with massive testing. High stress was considered a big risk. Please please take care of yourselves and get your check ups. Share the stress in your lives with your doctor. Now other family are taking over caregiver duties for a long while.
Never would I have imagined this happening to me. Thankfully I rebounded 100%. Rest will be the hardest adjustment.
Have your doctors suggested that other directly related (children, siblings) family members be evaulated for stroke?
Hope you're on the mend. Find out if you can extend your break from caregiving as long as possible-say 1-2 decades.... : )
I definitely am working on permanent life style changes to reduce my stress.
Hospital discovered a congenital cardiac issue that need to be "patched" and right now I am being monitored 24/7.
:)
you’re such a good person.
and i wish your health to blossom, and stress to decrease.
hug!!!
bundle of joy
Yes, stress is a silent killer. I hope you will not go back to the caregiver roll, not without support.
Thanks for writing and letting us know.
I hope that someone is helping to give you a break now! 😀
Self-care is very important - I';ve finally realized it as mom's dementia drags on and on. I'm hiring a cleaning lady to get a break. I used to feel my heart racing sometimes trying to get mom her food on time ..but not much anymore. No harm if she waits a few minutes..there's always fruit and snacks on the counter.
Its time to place Mom and Aunt if not already. Then allow the facilities to take on as much as they can. Then, you have to realize that the care they get in a facility is not the one on one care they got with you. But...they are being cared for. This will be hard, I know. You want to be here for your grands to watch them grow up.
You want to be able to just visit Mom and Aunt with none of the responsibility.
If you have a belief in God, then ask him to provide the next step.
My Mom lived with me for 20 months. I went to the AL up the street to see if I could place her for respite care to go to nieces wedding. While there I found they were having a half price sale on room and board. That meant her money would last a year and hoped her house would sell within that time I signed her up. Her transition to a NH went pretty well too. I believe when things go this well, Gods hand is in it.
Take care if yourself. Let people do for you. Let someone else deal with Mom and Aunt. Ask God for solutions and he will provide. I am not a religious person, but I believe this.
I am just hoping there is someone else who can work not on placement of family so that this doesn't happen again, and in a much much worse way.
Do know, InFamily, that many have strokes who do not give care to others. Even some young folks in the prime of living have them. But now you know you have had one you have to be very careful. Stress and cortisol levels up and down are chaotic to our every system.
Take care and stay well, and do know others need to take over now and work on placement. You should work on being down to visits only. Not going to be easy given your habits formed in caregiving. But may be crucial to your well being. Thoughts and best wishes out to you.
Praise God that you have rebounded 100% and there is care in place that isn't you.
Continue to take care of you, keep that other care for mom and Auntie, forever.
Best wishes for the future to be bright and healthy.
Such a shock because I imagined I was doing self care.
AND THANK YOU for the warning.
yes let’s be super careful:
-mental stress
-physical stress
i feel it.
i’ll do all i can to stay maxi healthy.
please recover completely and fast, dear infamilyservice.
bundle of joy
Such a shock and one I do not wish on any caregiver!
Your job right now is to take care of you. And if you need aides, housekeepers etc so that u can focus on pt, please get them Good luck and I pray for a swift recovery.
Already walking, spending time outside. Driving will wait one more week.
I am lucky to live with an able bodied husband and an adult daughter. They are very attentive.
I appreciate the advise.