i want to preface this by noting that both my parents are still alive, with my mother being recently incapacitated after a traumatic brain injury, she was my father's primary caregiver....i have durable poa which some of my siblings don't agree that it's valid or don't want to accept it, i have not attempted to use it in any manner, however, a few of them are now planning to sell my parents' home, with one of them wanting to purchase it (below market value), and placing both parents in long term care or in a small apartment with in-home assistance, i'm totally disgusted with this plan because they deserve a chance to remain in their current home with assistance....if the majority of the siblings agree to their nonsense except 2 of us, can they legally proceed with their evil plan?? does the majority rule?? i don't want to end up in a court battle over this but things are getting insane and their plotting is not in the best interest of my parents, they are not honoring my mother's wishes whatsoever.....any advice is greatly appreciated
Good luck. You sound very caring,
Carol
On the other hand, there may be something to the other sibling's opinions; it could be they are not aware of how much help is actually available, or it could be they are fearful of more drama and trauma and want to feel things are safe and settled.
They aren't necessarily being evil, though we sure get our share of "evil sibling" stories on here!
So, no, your sibs can't overrule unless dad is agreeable to selling and moving. Further, when the time comes and your dad is not mentally competent to make decisions and there is a doctor verification that this is the case; then your POA (provided it is medical + financial) is invoked and you hold the cards to make final decisions on your parents behalf including using their financial assets to provide for their care and well being.
That said, consider all angles and what is best. Honoring parents wishes to stay in the home may or may not be the best solution. In home care is great cause they remain in their home, but it has its shortcomings too. It is expensive, far more expensive (if 24/7) then a AL facility depending on your care needs. An in home CNA might not be able to give meds unless they are metered out in advance...make sure you use reputable agency, check the fine print, check references. Can both your parents still navigate in their home, will your mom need modifications to baths, steps, etc. transportation.
Just some thoughts. Maybe suggest to sibs you try in home care for 1 yr and then reevaluate for the future and work on parents in the meantime to prepare them to move after the year. That may help them and you mentally prepare while compromising with sibs and keeping the peace.
If you have siblings who have a different idea for what should happen to your parents, it would be smart of you to have an attorney draw up the proper paperwork and have it notarized through them, because it might wind up being contested in court.
If your mom has a traumatic brain injury and is no longer able to make good decisions, you or your father may need to start guardianship paperwork as well. Don't take the cheap route and wind up regretting it later if you wind up in court with your siblings over your parents' estate. I have no idea how big their estate will be, but it seems that usually brings out the worst in sibling behavior.
Don't think it doesn't happen. My friend, one of the kindest, most honest, gentlest woman , an old fashioned lady, took care of her wheelchair bound mother with no help from either the brother or sister. For two years she did everything for this woman, paid all expenses, made her mother happy in her final days. The 24/7/365 kind of care well known on this sight. Her mother gave her son a gift of $100,000.00 to buy a house. The mother's desire to help a beloved grandson. When she died my friend was in court defending this. The millionaire sister was determined to get that money. The sister who never visited, never helped in any way won. It cost my friend her $200,000.00 inheritience to defend the lawsuit. If her mother had documented her wishes, it never would have gone to court. Without that documentation it looked like the my friend and her son stole it. Protect yourself.