Mom has vascular dementia. She is convinced she is fine, the Dr. is crazy, and I'm a controlling witch who is doing all this to her on purpose. Her DL has been revoked. This has been explained a thousand times. Finally, we 'lost' the key. Currently, we are 'waiting' to get a replacement key. Somebody come up with my next excuse!!!!! I don't know what to tell her anymore.
She won't go to her Neurologist or the Geriatric Psychiatrist. Refuses to go. Does anybody know if you can alert the police that she is about to drive and have them stop her? Are there legal ramifications for me if she somehow manages to get behind the wheel of a vehicle? I wouldn't put it past her to steal my car....she has stolen my keys before.
I did ask him what he would do if I were to fall and black out. He said he would pick me up, put me in the car and drive me to the hospital. Not the best idea! Working on changing that reaction and meanwhile staying safe.
Listen when your mother complains (for only a minute), say you understand but do not to explain why she can’t drive. Change the subject, if that doesn’t work walk away. She likely thinks that as long as she can keep you engaged in the conversation she has a chance to win. I told mine that her doctors have forbidden her to drive and I have no power over the DMV. It has been seven months now since her license was revoked, she still complains from time to time but as her memory worsens she switches her OCD behavior to other subjects.
We live in California and when you hit 70 you have to take the written test every 4 years when you get your driver's license renewed. With the regular people, he failed the written test by 1 question . They gave him a 2 month extension. He took the test 6 times and failed every time. 18 questions, can miss 3 he would miss 4. My heart bled for him. During this time he had a fender bender. I emailed the Doctor and told him what was going on. We went in and the Doctor told him he couldn't drive because if he hurt someone after having the Alzheimer's diagnoses they could sue us for everything we had. He said on the way home, it was sort of a relief not to try to pass the written test anymore.
I had already decided I was not going to ride with him on the freeway anymore. He scared me to death and I do not scare easy. I thought if he got into an accident and they sued us at least I would have my health.
Sometimes, people can "showtime", in other words, pull it together for a little while, what would you do if she kept her license?