My grandma seems like she's losing her mind since my dad went to live with his girlfriend. She has always had control issues, but since my dad's recovery from heart surgery, she has been mean, suspicious and, as of lately, making untrue and delusional accusations. Is this a sign of illness with her mind, such as dementia or her need to control spiraling out of control? She was saying things about my safety, but even after I called to tell her I loved her a week or so ago, she hasn't called me back once to check on my welfare. So I'm not sure what is going on with her. She's 81 and has to be on oxygen for her breathing. I'm sure everything she's been through was too much for her and even with my uncle's taking care of her, I'm sure it's still not enough.
This isn't the time to be drawing lines in the sand. Family should stick together, but my dad did everything for her and I care about all my family and wonder if this is possibly middle stage dementia. She does have access to medical care and was always diligent about going.
This may have proved too much for gma. She may not approve of this relationship. She could just be really angry. I would have her checked for a UTI, that can change a person's behavior a LOT.
If it is dementia, or the beginnings, not a whole lot you can do--the person you knew slowly leaves and a new person inhabits the old body. She may be completely unaware, or unable to voice her opinions.
DON'T take it personally!! My mother has begun that long slow decline, and in our case, she has forgotten whom she adores and whom she's mad at. It's been a blessing. At some point, it will get much worse, but we're just rolling with it now.
Do some research on dementia and aging. You sound pretty young to be dealing with this, but nobody really gets out of having a parent, spouse or sibling aging and changing in this manner.
Bless you for caring for Grandma!!