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My mother moved here with us from out of state and had been living with us. In the 2+ years she was living with us here, she encountered some health issues that now leave her physically handicapped. Due to extreme personality difference and safety concerns (our home not being handicap accessible), she cannot live here.
We got her an apartment in a 55+ community that is handicap accessible a year ago, with my sister being her primary caretaker during this time and I have not been in the picture otherwise. I am the guarantor on the lease and have been 100% financially responsible for rent, to my family's significant financial burden. Now down to single income and can no longer afford to pay.
Despite verbal notification requiring mother and sister to, they have not made appropriate arrangements to take over the lease and financial responsibility.
They are threatening to submit a report of Elder Abuse. Do they have a case?

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I encourage you to send a certified return receipt letter to the landlord, giving them notice that you will not be renewing the lease and you are serving them with the 30 notice. Give them mom and sisters name, contact information and a brief description of the situation. Copy mom and sister explaining that you have sent the landlord the notice and they need to step up and deal with them or vacate the premises by whatever date the lease ends.

You want to ensure that your name and financial responsibilities are off the lease.

Your sister is just flapping her gums.

Just curious, did your spouse leave because they were tired of supporting your mom?
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Why can't parents and sister split the rent?
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Reply to EmotionallyNumb
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Ok, you make a deal with the Landlord for payment on the last months rent. You are responsible for that. Tell him you can no longer pay so not signing for month to month, that is now Moms problem.

Need to tell sister lease is up and you can no longer pay rent. That Mom is now responsible. If Mom can't pay, then other arrangements for her care need to be made. Option, Longterm care with Medicaid paying.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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AlvaDeer Oct 8, 2024
You never have to sign on a month to month lease. It is simply month to month long as it works for everyone.
We rent out a unit. We have had more than a few leave before a lease is over. We have NEVER made a stink about it. There is usually a reason. One poor couple had just married and it was clear they couldn't make it even a year together. Another moved for a job in Texas. It isn't worth hassle to bug them. I do acknowledge that we live somewhere it is easy to rent a unit pretty much right away.
Most landlords will not go to court over things such as this. If they are able to re-rent they would have to mitigate any judgement for them, anyway.

We choose really carefully when we rent. Have an open house, applications and they get checked. We have never had a problem. One couple did kind of end having a "support animal" they didn't mention, but there you are, and we ended up loving the little dog!

USUALLY landlords will work with you. Approach is everything.
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I have said over and over again on this Forum that family members MUST NOT take on the financial burdens of family members. What will happen when you do not have a lifetime of savings to support you in aging? Who will take on YOUR lease?
They can report this. You are not liable to them to provide them housing and I am certain you know that. Tell them to go right ahead, and tell them that you hope that APS will assist them in a move.

You will now, of course, have to deal with the landlord if you co-signed a lease. If they aren't paying that lease you may have to for the length of the lease. I would see a landlord tenant attorney. This landlord is going to have a problem and have to go through eviction notices and removal by the sheriff, so isn't going to be in a particularly good mood. I would chalk all this up to a very unfortunate and costly lesson learned the hard way, which is often how we best learn ALL our lessons. I wish you the very best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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agingcarecomhmb Oct 8, 2024
Yes, thank you. The lease is up in one more month. Then it goes month-to-month. The community made a statement that with they tend to evict those without a lease as they need apartments. This is my only concern.

Also, trying to figure out what type of lawyer this question/scenario is best suited to (being in Texas and knowing that Texas is pretty firm on their elder abuse laws) has been tough and I've been getting the runaround.

Thank you for your answer.
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This is not elder abuse. If anything your mother and sister financially expolited you.

You're on the hook for the rent until the lease is up. If you break the lease early by doing a buy-out with the landlord it will probably cost just as much or more than just paying it off.

When that lease it up, you wash your hands of any further responsibility for your mother. No more signing leases for her. No more paying for anything either. Let the state deal with her now. she's handicapped and the state will have to find her a place. It will likely be a nursing home. You don't have to find her one and shouldn't,
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Not elder abuse. Good for you stopping what you cannot pay. Inform the landlord why you’re backing out and let mom and sister figure it out from here
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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JoAnn29 Oct 8, 2024
Not that easy. OP signed a lease saying she would be responsible. She cannot just walk away. Landlord can take her to court andcwin.
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You’ve already contributed far, far more than you should have financially. There is no elder abuse here but if you signed the lease the landlord can come after you for the remaining monies left on it in civil court.

When/if she gets booted from the apartment do not take her back into your home for any reason, for any length of time. It is not your responsibility to house your mother.
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Reply to ZippyZee
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I would say no they do not have a case of "elder abuse," but I would call the landlord today and make them aware that you can no longer pay your mothers rent, and they will more than likely just evict her.
Senior Services or your local Area Agency on Aging can perhaps help find other living arrangements for your mother, as that is no longer your problem. You have done more than enough now to the detriment of your own finances.
It's time to just step away and let your mother and sister figure things out going forward.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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