This has been frustrating since my grandmother passed away, I have been taking care of my grandfather and prior helped her before she passed. Certain days he is more needy than others. And doesn't seem to understand when leaving for work that I can't sit and talk, but still he seems to forget I have to go to work. But still I spend time with him almost being late. Along with taking him to the store shopping, on random errands, to church, help fix things inside/outside of the house (painting, cementing the driveway, roofing, cutting down trees, gardening, etc. ). And lately my grandfather wants to have coversations but he just wants to talk. If I try to involve myself in the conversation he gets mad, or tells me to shut up. But then asks me questions but it seems like he really doesn't want me to answer. All he wants to do is talk about the end of the world because of what's going on with Russia lately. He has been listening to a preacher saying this is connected to the end times. That is all he wants to hear about. He has been watching YouTube. This whole thing is really stressing. He doesn't seem to understand how YouTube works, like if you look up certain videos, then similar videos will play after. But he believes that all preachers are just taking about "the end times" now. Then if he doesn't get his way or things don't work out how he wants, he starts throwing things, punching things, or yelling. It's beginning to seem like nothing is ever enough since his wife passed away, but I can't fill those shoes.
He's not going to remember that you have to go to work, so wanting to talk to you & you not having the time will be met with resistance. Look into the daycare option that Ann Reid suggested; it's a great idea. Speak to grandpa's children who are in a position to get hired help in the house FOR him. He's going to need care and to not be left alone soon. You work, therefore he's alone, which is not ideal for a person with dementia. There is a lot of trouble he can get into at home alone!
See if your folks can get him to the doctor for some calming meds as well. It sounds like he's at that point in his disease where they can help a lot. If you plan to care for him and/or live with him and interact daily, you should learn all you can about dementia too so you can understand how HIS mind is working (or not working) these days. Check out this 33 page booklet which is a free download:
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Here's a list of helpful do's and don'ts from her booklet:
The “Dont's”
· Do not reason and argue
· Do not demand that they reason or problem-solve
· Do not demand that they remember
· Do not demand that they get their facts straight
· Do not correct their ideas or scold them
· Do not reorient them
· Do not think that they are being uncooperative on purpose
· Do not think that they really do remember, but are pretending not to
· Do not use a “bossy” dictatorial attitude in care
· Do not act with impatience
The Do's
· Enter into their frame of reality, or their 'world'
· Be aware of their mood or state of mind
· Use few words and simple phrases
· OR use no words, just friendly gestures and simple motions
· Do everything slowly
· Approach from the front
· Wait for a slow response
· Constantly reassure them that everything is 'OK'
· Keep people with dementia comfortable 'in the moment' - every moment
· Maximize use of remaining abilities
· Limit TV or radio programs which they may feel are frighteningly real
· Maintain privacy
· Provide a safe physical environment
Language Needs
· Use short words
· Use clear and simple sentences
· Speak slowly and calmly
· Questions should ask for a “yes” or “no” answer
· Talk about one thing at a time
· Talk about concrete things; not abstract ideas
· Use common phrases
· Always say what you are doing
· If they repeat their question, repeat your answer as you did the first time · Give them a longer time to process information
· Wait patiently for a response
· Be accepting of inappropriate answers and nonsense words
· Speak softly, soothingly and gently
Good luck!
Where are his children? You need to get help from them. They are in a better place than ur to get him help. Do not put your life on hold for him. He will need more help than you can give him. From what you have written he is not going to be easy to deal with and it doesn't always get better as the Dementia progresses.
Try to lend him your ear, as it sounds like he just wants to talk.
Try to find something that Grandfather would be interested in. I found once my parents had passed, I dove into doing the family tree via Ancestry and it has done a world a good as it has been fascinating finding family, in-laws and some outlaws. My only regret wasn't doing this when my parents were alive to help answer questions.