My wife and I have been caring for my mother ,for over five years now.In the beginning she got a lump sum of money and was giving it out like it was candy.Finally to put a stop to it we agreed that my older sister would be the sole executive of her social security because she and my brother in law are very financially responsible no questions asked .But a few years have gone by they doubled my moms money but when I ask for help with food money or anything to help with my moms financial costs they won't help me.They act like its theirs .Granted she has power of attorney but none of my sister want to help.When I ask they want her in an assistant living .My wife spend twenty grand on making her her own room .But no help .What can I so because we have two girls in college and financially it's or we are struggling .please improve asking for info on how I can get help.
Your older sister is the representative payee for your mom's social security check and she has POA, but not helping with expenses which should be being paid for your mother's care. Do you know the lawyer who wrote up the POA? If so, go to him and tell him that she is not doing her job. Otherwise, find a lawyer who deals with elder affairs and tell him she is not doing her job. Whoever you speak with, ask them to take legal action against your sister because she is not doing her job. As long as your mother has not been declared incompetent, your sister does not have the authority as her POA to place her in assisted living. Is she competent? Where does the doctor say she should live.
On the other hand, would your mother be wiling to go to assisted living? She would be with people her own age and have more people to interact with.
Again, I'm sorry that your question has not been responded to yet. I hope others will chime in. Good luck , keep in touch, and let us know how things are working out.