Cared for mom in FL for 7 yrs /6 mo/yr+this summer (Sister-5 summers) I want 2 wks to with kids in AZ. Makes excuses, won't help. Not fair. mom with our son for pickup. Excuse- decided to buy a car Where did that come from? And she left for meeting with her friend at her cottage. This is typical and usual according to mom. She tried to dump mom on our son. I told her I wanted to see my family in AZ for two weeks plus I might need cataract surgery. Got a call-sure, will take mom for whole month of Oct. Shortly after called to say no, "her husband had fishing trip with friends and wives". (For whole month, I doubt it!) I gave her four months notice. I can't go in winter and I can't go in summer. She didn't ASK about my keeping mom all the time, she demanded it. I skipped going to visit my son's family already once this summer. My husband has to go alone while I stay back with mom. There's much more. Mom and I are arguing because she ALWAYS side with sis. Sis is executris and has power of Attorney. I have to have permission for things that effect me and I don't like it. Sis is an Alpha wolf, irresponsible with money and tried to get mom's condo in her name with mom's. I've had it. I've been called a liar, demeaned, and bullied. To complicate everything, mom's health is going bad. She has pneumonia, is incontinent, fell and has hurt herself. We have been transporting her to Sis doctor many miles away. Can we do anything to resolve this? We want to see a lawyer about what I have to do if she demands it. Can we make her do anything? I've had it! She kept insisting I solve the problem of caring for mom in October, I think she should solve the problem. Any ideas of how I can require her to be more responsible, legal or otherwise?
Do see a lawyer who specializes in Elder Law. If Mom is willing to have you as POA that is an easy change. Then you can use her money for her care, and arrange respite care for that month. But it sounds like Mom may not permit that. In that case the lawyer can help you understand exactly what your options are.
Your sister is in charge of mother's money, but you are in charge of your own decisions. See a lawyer to put your caregiving on firmer ground.
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